Spidey's Black Cat Brings Bad Luck

I just finished reading the Black Cat four-issue mini-series published by Marvel Comics. I wish I had read issue #1 before I bought the rest of the series.  I might have saved myself an additional $12.   

The Black Cat is Marvel Comics' answer to DC Comics' Catwoman.  Like Catwoman, the Black Cat is -- what else? -- a cat burglar, but she's not a villain.  She also flirts and has random sexual hook-ups with Spider-Man, much like Catwoman and Batman.  It's probably no surprise that they're similar since Spider-Man was probably conceived as Marvel's answer to DC's Batman.   Spidey and Batman are also -- arguably -- the two comic giants' individual heaviest hitters (and most profitable).

All that aside, the 2010 mini-series featuring a solo Black Cat follows her on a race to steal expensive artifacts in order to rescue her kidnapped mother from the Kravinoff family (i.e., Spider-Man's foe, Kraven).  Unfortunately, the story, characters, and art all lacked luster.  The supporting characters were interchangeable with no real personalities, so I often got confused as to who was who, and this was reading each issue back-to-back, not once a month.  Or maybe I just didn't care because the simple premise of the story was dragged out for four issues and none of the characters -- not even the Black Cat herself -- were well-written. 

The art was on par with current issues of The Amazing Spider-Man, which is to say that it wasn't good.  Gone are the days of Todd McFarlane and Erik Larsen when the web-slinger and his supporting ladies were beautifully drawn.  Welcome back, 1960s Spider-Man with jagged edges, disproportionate body parts, and no depth to appearances, background, or details.  

To add insult to injury, all four issues were priced at $3.99 each.  However, readers were given about 25 cents of quality.  Save your money and look for Catwoman stories instead.  Like Spider-Man, The Black Cat falls flat on her fur-lined ass. 

Batman Inc. doesn't stink.

If you've read my previous postings, you'd know that I am not a fan of Grant Morrison's writing.  I usually suffer through the nonsense, trying to understand what's happening so I can keep up with the goings-on of Batman, holding onto that slim hope that DC Comics will pass the writing reigns of this fantastic character on to someone else.   I picked up the first issue of the new comic series Batman, Inc. (written by none other than Grant Morrison) with the intention of not reading past this initial comic.  To my surprise, I found it engaging, fun, and it provided me with a flash of nostalgia to the old 1960's Batman TV series. 

The issue features the reunion between Batman and Catwoman after his return from the "dead."  It's a highspeed romp, not unlike a James Bond movie.  Batman needs Catwoman's thievery skills and she...well, she needs her Batman.  She's very frisky with Batman throughout the comic, and he certainly doesn't resist her advances. It re-establishes their relationship as playful and sexual. 

At the end, there's a cliffhanger, much like the cliffhangers on the Batman TV series.  Questions are posed to the reader: "Will Batman survive?"  "Will Catwoman?"  Followed by: "Find out next month in...Batman, Inc.!"   That part was cleverly done and I do applaud Morrison for this flashback.  

I'm not a fan of the whole idea of Batman going international with a different Batman in every country, but this was definitely an issue that was well written, easy to follow, and entertaining. 

Batman (yawn) Returns

I picked up Batman: The Return this week.  It was a $4.99 rip-off.  Er, one-shot.  Fortunately, I expected nothing less (or better) than I received.

I imagined the return of Bruce Wayne/Batman to be this dramatic event in the DC Universe.  However, it was a discombobulated mess and, as I've mentioned in previous postings, anti-climatic.  The Time Masters: Vanishing Point mini-series, in which a small group of DC heroes were searching for Batman throughout time, hadn't yet ended.  Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne mini-series hadn't ended yet either.  Both mini-series still had Bruce Wayne floating through time toward the present.  Even the Batman and Robin monthly series written by Grant Morrison himself couldn't keep up with the schedule of Batman's return.  Suddenly, DC Comics releases Bruce Wayne: The Road Home one-shots and he's back, everyone knows he's back, and there isn't much said or seen reunion-wise.  Scheduled weeks later?  Batman: The Return.  So now he's back and we're supposed to be...what?  Surprised?  Excited?  Emotional?  No.  More like confused.  And disappointed.  I feel like I, too, traveled back and forth in time reading these mismatched stories and series out of sequence, to no fault of my own. 

Batman: The Return contained a regular-sized comic story written by Grant Morrison which was pretty uninteresting, and didn't really contribute to much of the Batman universe other than being a marketing piece toward the end for the upcoming Batman, Inc. series wherein Batman loses the "loner" status he's always held near and dear, opting for commercialization instead (here, I'm reminded of the classic Charlie Brown Christmas animated special).  The rest of the Batman: The Return issue featured artwork and various logos considered for Batman, Inc.  It was then bound by harder stock matte finish cover.  All for the "bargain" price of $4.99.  Seriously, it was a waste of time and money, but I'm the fool in this game, because I knew it would be awful going in.  I keep hoping for the best for Batman and I see nothing but commercialization and overexposure.  

Because of the many new Bat-titles forthcoming, I'll probably reduce the amount of Bat-books I buy.  Not just for quality purposes but because trying to keep up and keep things in order will just get too complicated.

Super, boy!

Let me start by saying that I did NOT the arrogant kid who would one day become Superboy (aka Conner Kent) when he first appeared following "The Death of Superman" storyline back in the early 90s.  He sported the then-popular surfer's cut on his head, an earring in one ear, and major attitude.  

However, since then, he has transformed into -- let's face it -- a major hunk (think Abercrombie & Fitch) who sports a T-shirt and jeans as his costume.  I got back into reading comics with Geoff Johns' stint on the Teen Titans.  After reading those issues, Superboy quickly became one of my favorite DC Comics characters.

I was sad when he "died" and excited when he finally returned from the dead a couple of years later.  He was recently given a spotlight story in the revived Adventure Comics and, as of this week, has his own monthly series again, beginning with Superboy #1.

The first issue of this new series was...well, super.  The writing by Jeff Lemire was fantastic, as was the art by Pier Gallo.  Both were simple, yet beautiful.  By simple, I mean that the story took its time.  It showed the "human" side of Conner Kent and not just fighting sequences.  The art was gorgeously drawn and colorfully inked.  The bright colors were very welcoming and created a simplicity to the story, characters, and background. 

In this issue, Conner wrestles with going to high school, tries to avoid Lori Luthor (Lex's niece), helps Ma Kent out on the farm, pals around with Krypto (who I hope is a regular!), and runs into the Parasite attacking Smallville looking for Superman.

I look forward to reading about Conner's adventures month after month and hope that this balance between his personal life and "professional" life continues.

Amazing Spider-Man, Not-So-Amazing Price

So, as you may have heard, Marvel Comics decided to move Amazing Spider-Man's thrice monthly printing to a bi-monthly printing.  I'm assuming it was because of reader dissatisfaction with multiple writers and having to pay $2.99 and sometimes $3.99 three times a month for below average stories and art.  I know I've considered dropping it because it's too costly for too little in return.  So I was excited to learn that ASM was moving to a bi-monthly schedule.  Still not as great as once per month, but acceptable if the quality increases.  

I picked up Amazing Spider-Man #647 yesterday.  $4.99.  Yes, you heard me.  Four dollars and ninety-nine freakin' cents.  It's not a "special" issue or a landmark issue like #650 will be.  Now Marvel is going to try to recoup its thrice monthly sales by charging more for the two issues per month it publishes?  

How amazing is that?  NOT so amazing.  I'm outta here.

Tiny Titans...Awww, Yeah!

Confession:  I love Tiny Titans.  And I'm not talking about Mexican midget wrestling. 

Tiny Titans is a DC Comic featuring toddler versions of your favorite Teen Titans, mostly from the wildly popular and well-written 1980s New Teen Titans series.  Think Muppet Babies.  Or A Pup Named Scooby Doo.  Or even the Flintstone Kids.  The stories for Tiny Titans are set in a kid-friendly, elementary school environment.  They're simple, silly, cute, and usually contain some sort of moral from which kids can learn.  They're also fun for adults.  Although I have a hard time justifying the $2.99 price tag for a comic I can read in one-third the time of a regular comic, sometimes I just can't resist.  My justification is that this Titans book is better written (thanks to Art Balthazar and Franco Aureliani) than the current Teen Titans comic, written by the awful Felicia Henderson.

I just read the first issue of the three-issue mini-series Tiny Titans/Little Archie, featuring toddler versions of the Archie Comics characters paired up with the Tiny Titans.  Again, cute.  Robin's and Archie's clothes get mixed up at the drycleaners.  Archie's mom and Alfred, the butler, pick up the wrong clothing and bring it to the kids.  Since they both have an "r" on their shirt ("r" for Robin and "r" for Riverdale, Archie's hometown), the adults believe they have picked up the right clothing.  Archie freaks when he starts to put on the clothes and sees Robin's green underwear and booties.  The identity mix-up continues with their respective friends.  Fun and lighthearted.

Tiny Titans is a great way to introduce your youngest kids to the DC Comics characters.  The stories are wholesome, non-violent, and moral-teaching.  They're also great entertainment for adults.

The Anticlimactic Return of Bruce Wayne/Batman

In the crappy tradition of the Batman: RIP storyline comes the return of Bruce Wayne/Batman from the timestream in which he was caught.  That's not to say that the individual stories of the Bruce Wayne: The Road Home one-shots are crappy, but the manner in which they were released/are being released are.  First, there has been the ever-delayed releases of current issues of the supposed-monthly Batman and Robin and the mini-series Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne, both by the questionably talented Grant Morrison.  

This past week, I just picked up issue #5 (of 6) of the up-til-now-boring/lame Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne.  Additionally, I picked up four one-shots (yes, FOUR issues) of the Bruce Wayne: The Road Home one-shots, featuring (in no particular order) Batgirl, Red Robin, Batman and Robin, and Outsiders.  They were originally supposed to be released two issues per week, but apparently someone was slacking off.  Since they weren't labeled, I had to look at the back of each comic to see the "To be continued in..." box to figure out some semblance of order.  In each comic, Bruce Wayne appears to the other characters with no fanfare.  I take it that the people in his life already know that he's back, but we, the readers, have not seen this come about yet.  Maybe that's because DC Comics has only released issue #5 of the aforementioned Return comic.  For me, the "return" really lost its impact because of the delayed and crazy release schedules.  I'm going out on a limb here, but perhaps everything should have been pushed back to coincide?   And releasing four comics of the same storyline at $2.99 in the same week?  What about the Batman readers who are only kids who spend their allowance on comics?  Can they afford to shell out $12-$15 in a single week on a single character?  I know I wouldn't have been able to as a kid.  DC is really doing a disservice to its younger readers.  If kids aren't shown respect now, they're not going to show DC Comics respect later in life.  Those kids can grow up to be adult comic collectors, too, you know.  As an adult reader, I'm offended with being presented with all of this non-labeled material out of sequence.  I don't watch my Mad Men episodes out of order.  Why should I read my comic books that way? 

With all that said, I will say that issue #5 of Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne has been the best so far in that otherwise unnecessary series.  Bruce's parents have been recently murdered, and he learns some not-so-great details about their lives that he probably wished he hadn't.  I've only read two of the Road Home one-shots so far (Batgirl, and Batman and Robin), but both were well-written and enjoyable.  Perhaps, though, the stories would have fit better into their own series instead of one-shot issues so we the readers can, again, see some sequence to the events.  I would have liked to have seen the characters' reactions/reunion with Bruce Wayne.  I'm sure some were heartfelt.  

Sadly, since the Batman: RIP storyline, I've really lost interest in the Dark Knight and his cast of supporting (and not-so-supporting) characters.  Why?  The delays, the out-of-sequence releases, the nonsense storylines, myriad of one-shots, revamping of series titles (and starting over at #1 issues), Batman rip-off characters like Knight and Squire taking over the Bat-titles, the thought (and fear) of the too-many-to-name upcoming Batman series, the concept (and title) of Batman, Inc., etc.  Maybe I'll just stick to non-Bat titles until some of the titles fail and are cancelled and Batman becomes interesting again. 

Hard Time = Good Time

I recently came across a series that DC Comics put forth in 2004.  It was called Hard Time and was sold under a new DC Comics imprint called DC Focus.  The idea of DC Focus was to feature super-powered characters who did not follow the traditional format of classic superhero adventures.  It was a precursor to NBC's Heroes TV show premise.

Hard Time focuses on 15-year-old Ethan Harrow.  For years,  the jocks bullied Ethan and his friend Brandon. Ethan and Brandon plan a "fake" school shooting as a way of getting back at the jocks. Unfortunately, things went wrong and Brandon goes a bit psychotic and winds up shooting several students and teachers.  As Ethan later tells his lawyer, "it was supposed to be a joke. Brandon told me the guns were loaded with blanks."  Ethan is initially in shock; but when Brandon points his gun at girl that Ethan likes, Ethan tries to stop him. Unsuccessful at first, Ethan's fiery superpower emerges, killing Brandon.  Although Ethan was not directly involved with the murders, he was tried as an adult and given fifty years to life in prison with eligibility for parole in the year 2053.  

This back story and school scene are told fairly quickly and the remainder of the series focuses on Ethan's time behind bars.  I have already read the first ten issues (quickly) and am already feeling a bit gloomy and nostalgic knowing that I only have nine issues left.  I want to savor each and every one.  The storytelling is magnificent.  These are real characters (albeit criminals) with defined personalities.  Steve Gerber (unfortunately now deceased and best known for creating Howard the Duck) was a remarkable writer.  Not only do we get to know Ethan and his family situation more, but we get to learn about the distinct personalities,  mannerisms, and personal philosophies of the criminals that surround him every day in his new "life."  One of my favorites is Cindy, the transgender boy who appears innocent at first, but can't be trusted.  He/she has been incarcerated for awhile now, has taken a protector boyfriend, has many allies, and knows the ropes.  You don't want to mess with shim. 

Ethan's power(s) are slowly revealed throughout the series as he learns to use them to make things happen throughout the prison.  I won't go into too much detail because I appreciate the way Steve Gerber revealed things about Ethan and his supporting characters throughout the series.  I feel that the story should be experienced the same way I experienced it:  by a full reading.  

The final issue is set in the future, when Ethan gets released from prison after fifty years' service.  To correspond with DC Comics' "One Year Later" storyline that ran across all their titles in 2006, Hard Time: Season Two #7 (the final issue) carries a similar logo that reads "49 Years Later."  I'm looking forward to reading that final issue to see how everyone's life turns out.  It's a shame, though, that this series was canceled.  It's truly been one of the best comic book series (or books, for that matter) that I've read in quite some time.  

Check out:  Hard Time: 50 to Life

Holy hotness, Green Arrow!

And now...a break from our regularly scheduled comic reviews.  I bring you some of the latest Green Arrow covers by artist Mauro Cascioli. 

What's the opposite of Amazing?

Amazing Spider-Man #300
(Todd McFarlane art)

Amazing Spider-Man should change its title to Opposite-of-Amazing Spider-Man.  Why?  It's so...average.  I remember back in the 80s how cool (and monthly) ASM was.  It featured breakout artist Todd McFarlane, Peter Parker and his longtime crush Mary Jane married, and it introduced the black costume that would one day become Venom.  Cool stuff.
Lately, ASM has been mediocre.  I re-joined the series after the highly criticized "Brand New Day" storyline that apparently wiped everyone's memories of Spider-Man's secret identity and, with it, Peter Parker's marriage to Mary Jane.  I've been fairly underwhelmed with the stories that are printed thrice monthly. 

Amazing Spider-Man #641

Recently, I read the "One Moment in Time" storyline (Amazing Spider-Man #638-641) which reversed the memory-wipe from "Brand New Day."  Seriously, what's real and what isn't anymore then?  I'm so confused. 

At $3.99 each, Amazing Spider-Man issues are also higher priced than many other comics.  Three times a month.  That's $12 per month, which could possibly be some kid's monthly allowance.  This past week, both issue #641 AND #642 were released.  Why?  Scheduling/printing conflict, Marvel says.  Okay...but why not just push everything back then?   Since it's published practically every week, I hardly doubt someone's going to miss it if a week goes by without a new issue of Not-So-Amazing Spider-Man.  It's not like they have to wait another month; they'll just catch it the next week.  What kind of logic is that?  So, basically I spent $7 on crap this week.  (#642 was only priced at $2.99 and, by the artwork alone, it's really only worth 99 cents.  But I'll get to that in a moment (in time).)

From Amazing
Spider-Man #642

The worst thing about printing an ongoing weekly comic series?  The writing and art become very inconsistent issue to issue.  To catch up, it seems like Marvel is hiring any old artist off the street for one of their oldest and most popular titles, not giving Spidey the respect he deserves.  Cheap unknown writers, cheap unknown artists, figuring people will buy the title just based on the character Spider-Man alone.   Check out a panel of the latest issue (#642).  Is that Mary Jane and Peter Parker?  What's wrong with them?  Has Mary Jane contracted rickets and turned Asian?  Does Peter have cerebral palsy and Frankenstein bolt-head disease? 

From Amazing
Spider-Man #642

Trying to produce a comic that's published so often is really harming the image of Amazing Spider-Man.  A little depth, good storytelling, and great art go a lonnnnnnng way. 

(se)X-Factor

One of my favorite comic books in the 1980s was Marvel Comics' X-Factor.  It revived the original X-Men team and brought Jean Grey back to life (the first time). 

The team today is very different than the team of yesteryear.  It focuses on X-Factor Investigations, which is a detective agency made up of mutants.  And some of the team consists of characters that I've never had a particular fondness for:  Madrox, Longshot, and Shatterstar.  On the other hand, Wolfsbane (one of the original New Mutants) and Rictor (one of the young mutants the original X-Factor takes under their care) are also team members and I've always liked the two of them.  

I read an article that the powers-that-be were pairing up Rictor and Shatterstar as a gay couple and it intrigued me.  To throw an even bigger twist into the storyline, Wolfsbane shows up seven months pregnant, carrying Rictor's baby, and catches the two of them together.  Whoa.  Talk about drama. 

I gave X-Factor #207 and #208 a try.  I was extremely impressed with writer Peter David's character development, as it gave me a greater appreciation toward characters I've always liked, as well as those that I never particularly cared for.  And the scenes involving Rictor, Shatterstar, and Wolfsbane were fantastic.   A special thank you goes out to Peter David and Marvel Comics for including scenes between Rictor and Shatterstar that were not limited to a hug or pat on the back.  They're shown as a regular romantic couple trying to work out their problems.

Peter focuses more on the interaction of the characters, by giving them their own lives and stories, rather than using the characters to just fight battle after boring battle.  He moves the characters forward with real-life events that will forever change their lives.  Unfortunately, this doesn't happen enough in comic books.  Oh, and I was happy to discover that Longshot no longer sported a mullet and Shatterstar no longer looked like a samurai with a ponytail.  

As long as Peter David stays on as the writer, I'm definitely adding X-Factor to my list of monthly comics.

A Mediocre Joker

In The Joker graphic novel, we meet minor criminal Jonny Frost. He loses his girlfriend and joins Joker's gang, giving us a story from his viewpoint of what it's like to be side-by-side with this madman.  Although not specifically labeled, the graphic novel seems to take place in an "Elseworlds" universe. It doesn't take place in the regular DC Universe.  Regular Batman villains appear as slight variations of themselves: Harley Quinn is a killer stripper, Killer Croc is just a large man with alligator-type skin, and the Riddler is a feeble, crippled man who uses a question mark-shaped cane to walk. The Joker himself resembles Heath Ledger's silver screen version.

I liked the concept of this graphic novel, but the story didn't really draw me in that much, despite spot-on craziness from the Joker himself.  Usually when comic book stories are chosen to be placed in graphic novels rather than in a regular comic book, they're meant to be epic. Take, for example, The Killing Joke.  Unfortunately, that's where The Joker fails.  I guess I was expecting to get inside the mind of the Joker himself.  Some of the recent Joker's Asylum comic book stories have been much better.  They're better written, and have better artwork.

And, speaking of, most of the illustrations in The Joker appear like rough sketches rather than completed artwork. The characters have too many jagged edges for my taste. Ironically, some of the panels are a lot more detailed and beautifully illustrated. It seems as though the artist couldn't be bothered to do the rest of the graphic novel in a similar style. When I'm paying over $10 for a single story/issue in a hardcover format, I guess I expect a bit more effort put into it. Again, see Brian Bolland's flawless art in The Killing Joke. 

Skip The Joker graphic novel and head straight for the Joker's Asylum stories. You'll get much more value for your dollar. 

Avengers Discombobulated

When I heard that the Avengers were going to have a fresh start with the Heroic Age after the dreaded Dark Reign cloud that hovered over the Marvel Universe, I was elated.  I have fond memories of the Avengers from the 80s and wanted to recapture that excitement.  I've picked up the first three issues of The Avengers, the first two issues of The New Avengers and the Avengers Academy, and the first issue of The Secret Avengers.  Color me unimpressed.  The only one that has interested me so far is the Avengers Academy.


The Avengers Academy takes a group of relatively unknown teenagers and allows them to interact, working out their personality differences, learning how to use their powers together, and coming to terms with why they were chosen for the group.  This is great storytelling.   

What isn't great storytelling?  Avengers, New Avengers, and Secret Avengers.  The stories have been pretty bland and generic and aren't a very good starting place for newcomers.  The characters aren't given enough time to interact before they're thrust into battle with some other worldly villain.  We never get to really know them and, frankly, at this point, I don't even want to.

My main pet peeve: why are Spider-Man and Wolverine on both the Avengers and the New Avengers teams?  Furthermore, they each have their own comic book series (Spider-Man's is published thrice monthly), and Wolverine is in the Uncanny X-Men, X-Force, Astonishing X-Men, and the new plain ol' X-Men comic. Talk about overkill.  I wish I had that much free time.  No wonder they created clones of Spider-Man.  Then there's the addition of the Thing who is and will always be a member of the Fantastic Four.  I think there are plenty other Avengers out there with good tales to tell that could use a wee bit o' screen time.

Unfortunately, Marvel missed the boat on this "revamp" of a classic series and team(s).   2010 isn't so much the "Year of the Heroic Age" or even the "Year of the Avengers."  It'll be remembered by me as the year I wasted $3.99 a comic on some crappy Avengers wannabe series.  

Check out: Avengers Academy: Permanent Record

Grim Hunt

It's been a challenge trying to keep up with the Amazing Spider-Man since his comic is published thrice monthly, but I just finished reading the four-part "Grim Hunt" storyline that ran in issues 634-637.  (Side note:  at this rate, ASM is going to bypass Superman's and Batman's monumental 700th issues which, to me, is kind of cheating.)

"Grim Hunt" featured the return of Kraven the Hunter (whom I didn't realize -- or remember -- was dead).  Thankfully, Marvel Comics published a free companion comic that came out for Free Comic Book Day that gave a detailed history of Kraven.  This proved immensely helpful before I read "Grim Hunt."  It gave me the background of his suicidal death, as well as insight into his family members, including his half-brother the Chameleon, the many women he's bedded, numerous kids, pets, etc. 

Over the past year or so, the Kravinoff family has been secretly running Spider-Man through a "gauntlet," bringing back his most dangerous villains in order to weaken our Friendly Neighborhood hero before they brought Kraven back to life.  The stories haven't had much depth to me, and that's probably because of how many times a month the series is published.  You can't have quality and consistency when you have to have a variety of writers and artists to keep up with the hectic publishing schedule.  They're not all going to write or draw the same.  In fact, some of the writing and art has been horrendous and jarring.  Still, I held on to the series. 

In the process of this "gauntlet," Marvel also updated all of the "old" villains, making them more dangerous than ever before.  For example, the Vulture is now somebody else who wears a red costume (instead of green) and has new deadly powers.  Oh, and he eats people.   The Sandman and Rhino storylines in "The Gauntlet" had the potential to be very good because of their emotional impact...but in the end, they both fell apart.  The only well-written story I read was kind of a "filler" issue featuring the vampire Morbius.  It was a self-contained single-issue story that was cleverly written. 

Anyway, back to "Grim Hunt."  The Kravinoff family is after the entire Spider family:  Spider-Man, Madame Web, Spider-Girl, Arache, Spider-Woman, Arana, Spider-Man clones, etc.  Basically, anyone with a spider emblem on their chest, a spider-theme to their name, or Peter Parker's DNA in their body.  It's all kind of silly, really.  Clones?  Seriously? 

The Kravinoff family resurrects Kraven from the dead by sacrificing Spider-Man over his grave.  (I won't spoil it for you.)   Fights ensue, unimportant people die, and Spider-Man saves the day.  (What?  You really thought he was dead?  His name is on the cover.  How could he be dead?  Again, I won't spoil it for you with the whos, hows, and whys.)  In the process, Spider-Man almost kills Sasha, the mother of Kraven's daughter, Ana, by doing something painful to her face, but I couldn't quite tell what.  I had to go back and re-read it several times because it was so out of character for Spidey.  He also tries to kill Kraven, also out of character. 

So, this is what "The Gauntlet" was all leading up to?  It was a pretty disappointing finale from a disappointing lead-in, although I did gain some respect for Kraven that I didn't have before, now that I know him a little better.  Gone are the days when Kraven wore his leopard pants, fur jacket, and ballet slippers.  Thankfully, now the only place that you'll find someone sporting that combination is at your local Walmart. 

Besides the "Grim Hunt" storyline, Marvel Comics justified jacking up the price of each issue to $3.99 by running a second storyline which featured an "untold" tale of Kraven and Kaine, the long-haired Jesus-looking Spider-Man clone.  It sort of ties into "Grim Hunt," but really it's just filler.  Even the artist couldn't even be bothered to do a great job.  He made Kraven look like Gru from the animated movie Despicable Me.

Lastly, there was a third storyline going on in the issues of ASM.  These were two-page "stories" written by Stan Lee that were a combination of the original 1960s Spider-Man stories...and Pinky and the Brain.  Yeah, you heard me. 

What do I think of Spider-Man?  Meh.  I wish Marvel Comics would get Spider-Man back on track with some good storylines, good writers, and good artists.  Not one, but two, Spider-Man clones?  Spider-Man loses a portion of his life, so he's single again and no longer married to Mary Jane?  Aunt May acting all rude and freaky with a storyline that's going nowhere?  Whatever happened to Spidey's heyday with the black costume saga and Todd McFarlane's art?  Can't somebody come up with something equally entertaining but not silly?  For $3.99 a pop three times a month, we readers deserve better.  And, frankly, so does Spider-Man.

Wonder Woman Turns 600

The trinity of superheroes at DC Comics are all celebrating milestones this month.  Batman and Superman both reached their 700th issues.  And now there's Wonder Woman, reaching her 600th.  It's not technically her 600th, but since her first volume contained 329 issues, her second 226, and her third 44, if you add them all up, the next issue would be 600.  And that works for me, because I think she deserves to be recognized for surviving so long as an under-appreciated character.  

Wonder Woman's milestone turned out to be the best of the three (save the best for last?).  The first story within Wonder Woman #700 was beautifully written by Gail Simone.  It was drawn by and "inspired by" the ever-fantastic George Perez and I see why.  The tale harkened back to when George Perez took the reigns of Wonder Woman back in the 1980s and gave her a fresh start and look. Diana was a fish out of water back then, and I was very happy to see the return of Julia and Vanessa Kapatelis.  It was a return to the uncomplicated stories that were full of heart and not so Greek god- or Amazonian-based. 

The next two stories featured Power Girl and Superman, respectively.  Two mighty players she could team up with against a powerful villain.  Instead, she dealt with both on a humanistic/personal level.   Power Girl's story was a little silly, but still cute.  I thought it was great that Power Girl looked up to Wonder Woman as an idol, even for the smallest  advice about her cat (no sexual pun intended). 

I'm not quite sure what to think of the last story in the giant-sized issue.  It's a lead-in to the future storyline of Wonder Woman starting in issue #601.  It features Wonder Woman's new costume, which is all abuzz in the news.  To me, the storyline seems kinda Lost-ish.  From my understanding, time has been shifted, Paradise Island has been destroyed, and she had a different origin story, hence the new costume which, by the way, is very Black Canary-ish.  (That's my second "-ish" in case you're keeping count.)  She has to try to get time back in alignment?  At least that's what I got out of it.  Hmmm... I'm not so sure about that direction, if that's what it is.  That seems beyond the scope of Wonder Womandom and a bit overdone.  DC has been doing too much lately with parallel worlds/earths and time travel (Bruce Wayne coming back to "life," Booster Gold bebopping all over the time continuum, bringing Superboy back to life from the future, the Legion of Superheroes going back and forth between their time and ours, etc.).  

I'll keep reading Wonder Woman, though, because I'm curious about her future.  And she needs all the support she can get!  (Again, no sexual pun intended.)  Here's to another 600 issues!  (Let's hope she never has another #1.)

Superman Turns 700

Superman reached his 700th issue last week, following Batman's disappointing 700th the week before.  Ironically, Batman started in 1940 while Superman started in 1939.

Superman's milestone was much better than Batman's.  Both issues contained a few short stories starring the title character, but Superman's was tied to current storylines or past history, whereas Batman's were just random bullshit.  In fact, Superman #700 contained a story that teamed him up with the original Robin, Batman's former partner, in a story set back in time.  Batman/Bruce Wayne appeared briefly and his appearance here was still better than the stories from his own 700th issue.  It provided a fun reading, seeing Superman play the adult mentor to the teenage Robin.  This was my favorite story of the three; however, it was more of a story for Robin than Superman.  I love the original Robin, though, so I was content.

Another story within the issue focused on Superman's reunion with his wife, Lois Lane, after the events from the "War of the Supermen" and "New Krypton" sagas that have run in all of the Superman books over the past couple of years.   I appreciated being let into Superman's personal life, as it's something that we haven't had a glimpse of in quite some time.  It made him -- for lack of a better term -- "human."  (Although hearing Superman and Lois confess their love to one another over and over again got a bit redundant.)

The third and final story within Superman #700 lays the groundwork for the upcoming "Grounded" storyline that will see Superman walking across the U.S. from Philadelphia to Seattle, stopping at cities and small towns in between, so he can reconnect with his fan base on their level.   I like that this will give Superman a more personal approach, but he can't be there to save people's everyday lives.  Hello!  He's not Sup-- Well, I guess he is.  But still...

So, while $4.99 seems a little steep for what we got, it was money better spent than Batman #700.  It didn't suck.

Batman Turns 700

Batman's 700th issue just came out, with Superman's 700th and Wonder Woman's 600th to follow this summer.  So why does it not feel like much of a celebration?

Batman #700 was written entirely by the questionably talented Grant Morrison.  It's unfortunate that DC Comics relies too heavily on Grant Morrison to bring Batman to the world.  His writing is so divisive; there's no middle ground.  People either really love him or really hate him.  For that reason, his stories exclude a large portion of the audience that DC is trying to reach.  

Batman #700 was divided up into short, separate tales that included past, present, and future Batmans (i.e., Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, and Damian Wayne, respectively).  Again, like with his "Batman RIP" storyline, I think Morrison was using hallucinogens whilst writing these tales.  The stories -- and I use that term loosely -- weren't entertaining, weren't grabbing, weren't noteworthy, and definitely weren't substantial enough to warrant placement in the milestone 700th issue of Batman.  Furthermore, they didn't fit in with any of the current Batman storylines going on.  In fact, the recent Riddler one-shot was better written, certainly a lot more entertaining, and offered a better value for the $2.99 cover price.  The rest (almost half) of the $4.99 issue was filler, featuring Batman art from different artists, a layout of the Batcave that we've most likely seen before, and um...well, that's it. 

All in all, Batman #700 was a big disappointment.  Better luck with #800, Batman.  I hope Superman and Wonder Woman receive a better treatment for their upcoming milestones. 

And now, I leave you with a message from Grant Morrison:

DC Takes a Crap on the Teen Titans

I know that I recently reviewed the downward spiral that is DC Comics' Teen Titans, but after reading the latest issue (Teen Titans #83), it bears repeating.  Why has DC decided to crap on the Teen Titans? 

When Geoff Johns revamped the Teen Titans and wrote for the first 40 or so issues, the Teen Titans were fantastic.  Again.  The writing harkened back to the days of Marv Wolfman writing the New Teen Titans back in the 80s.  Now, I'm not saying that Johns is the end-all and be-all of comic book writers.  He's great, but I think there are a lot of other talented writers out there as well. 

After Johns, Sean McKeever took over the Teen Titans and it was tolerable.  Not great, but tolerable.  It's like he was keeping them afloat until DC could find another suitable writer to be Johns' worthy successor.  Now DC has brought onboard Felicia D. Henderson who has absolutely no comic book or superhero writing experience.  Her background includes TV series like Fringe; Gossip Girl; Everybody Hates Chris; Soul Food; Sister, Sister; Family Matters; and Moesha.  The last time I checked, the Teen Titans wasn't a cheesy family sitcom.  Wait a minute...scratch that.

With Henderson, Teen Titans has gone from mediocre to bad.  I know the Teen Titans features teenage characters, but does the writing have to appear like it was written BY a teenager?  The storyline and dialogue are amateurish at best. 

Here are some examples from the latest issue, #83:

Blue Beetle: "Want to go get something to eat?"
Static: "Thanks, man.  But I'm spent. Think I'll raid the fridge and crash."
Blue Beetle: "Dakota was crazy, huh?"
Static: "Much and very."
Blue Beetle: "Everything okay, with the fam?"
Static: "Yeah.  You know. They miss me. I miss them."

Later...
Static: "Hey, I decided I wanna go out and get something to -- looks like you're taking off."
Blue Beetle: "Have to."
Static: "What's wrong?"
Blue Beetle: "Holocaust nearly killed us.  Something weird's going on with Miss Martian. We're going to have to go to another dimension to find Raven. Who knows what we'll face? Who knows if we'll get back? I need to see my mom."
Static: "I feel you."

Superboy: "She's acting all weird like she doesn't want me around.  And it's getting really old, really fast."
Impulse: "If you don't know what's going on, why don't you ask her?"
Superboy:  "Because if Cassie [Wonder Girl] doesn't wanna be with me she should just say so."

Wonder Girl: "Can we talk?"
Superboy: "Yeah.  Come on in.  So...what's up with you?"
Wonder Girl: "Nothing.  I mean, everything.  In case you haven't noticed, Raven's missing, and I'm the leader now, and it's a lot of pressure, and --"
Cut to: Superboy kissing Wonder Girl up against the wall.
Superboy: "That make it better?"
Wonder Girl: "No...make it harder."

Huh?

Superboy: "...anyway, we're kissing.  It's heated.  I'm thinking, we're fine!  But then Rochelle busts in."
Impulse:  "No way."
Superboy: "Oh yes."
Impulse: "Don't worry, dude. She's hot and she carries around her own rope.  You'll get together again."
In walks Wonder Girl: "Unfortunately, we're together right now."
Superboy: "Cassie!  Can you just tell me what's going on?"
Wonder Girl: "Are you serious?"
Superboy: "I know how it sounded but I was just getting advice."
Wonder Girl: "I'm the leader here. How's the team going to respect that with you sharing my business like that?"
Superboy: "I'm sorry."
Wonder Girl: "And that helps me how?"

Wonder Girl: "Lorena, have you ever been to that undersea area?"
Aquagirl: "No.  No one has.  Down that deep there are sea creatures unlike any other.  Some are really dangerous."
Bombshell: "She's asking if you can handle the pressure, water wimp."
Aquagirl: "You're two seconds from finding out how lucky you are to have an onsite operating room."
Wonder Girl: "Are you serious?  Get it together, you two."

Are YOU serious, DC?  Get it together. 

Why am I complaining so much?  Because I have an emotional investment in the Teen Titans that dates back to the 80s.  Because I hate to see them -- for lack of a better term -- crapped on.  And because DC is charging $3.99 a comic for a horribly written superhero team comic book that features equally horribly written back-up features.   I was relieved when the Ravager back-up tale (written by the aforementioned Sean McKeever) was ending and looking forward to the new Coven story featuring Black Alice.  After reading the first installment, I have to wonder:  Is Gail Simone the only writer that can pull off the under-used, weird, and dark Black Alice?

Sorry.  I just had to vent.  With so many quality DC comics out there, why do the Teen Titans have to suffer?