The Better-Than-Average Spider-Man

I started reading Amazing Spider-Man again with #583, the comic that grabbed all of the headlines because it featured President Obama on its variant covers.  I had stopped reading just before #400, when I quit comics all together.  I had never been as satisfied with ASM anyway, after the fantastic storylines of Spidey's black costume, the first appearances of Venom, and Todd McFarlane's art chores.  The stories were just kind of so-so.  

Amazing Spider-Man #698

Jump to #583 and beyond.  The stories still were just kind of average, but I still kept buying them.  I've put up with Mary Jane and Peter Parker splitting up as if they've never been married, Spider Island with a bazillion Spider-Man rip-offs running around NYC, the introduction of the annoying Alpha, and all of the extra "Point One" issues.  I even put up with ridiculous three issues per month stint with various writers and artists, making the series so incoherent and inconsistent.  Finally, Marvel signed on Dan Slott and went to a twice monthly publication (at a heftier $3.99 price tag), giving the series at least some consistency and regularity.  I truly admire Dan Slott for being able to put out so many stories of Spidey every month.  It's quite a feat.  Unfortunately, to me, the stories, again, have just been so-so (with the exception of the poignant issues, #655 and #657). That is, until issue #698 when it was revealed that -- SPOILER ALERT!! -- Doctor Octopus had mysteriously switched bodies with Spider-Man, leaving our web-headed friend in a dying body.  Even the cover is one of the best I've seen since picking up ASM again.  At first you think Doc Ock has discovered Spider-Man's secret identity and is calling him out on his deathbed.  Only inside do you discover that that's actually Peter saying his own name to try to get people to help him.  Now, that's AMAZING.  

There are a lot of angry readers out there, disgusted by the thought of a "Superior Spider-Man."  I, for one, am actually looking forward to where Slott is going to take us with Doc Ock as the new Spider-Man, since this is one of the best storylines I've seen for Spider-Man in YEARS.  I also wonder when Peter Parker will "come back to life" and take back control of his own body.  And...will the series still be called Superior Spider-Man?  Or will we see the dawn of another Amazing Spider-Man title?  Will the sequencing start over again with #1?  Or will it return to the 700s? 

What's the opposite of Amazing?

Amazing Spider-Man #300
(Todd McFarlane art)

Amazing Spider-Man should change its title to Opposite-of-Amazing Spider-Man.  Why?  It's so...average.  I remember back in the 80s how cool (and monthly) ASM was.  It featured breakout artist Todd McFarlane, Peter Parker and his longtime crush Mary Jane married, and it introduced the black costume that would one day become Venom.  Cool stuff.
Lately, ASM has been mediocre.  I re-joined the series after the highly criticized "Brand New Day" storyline that apparently wiped everyone's memories of Spider-Man's secret identity and, with it, Peter Parker's marriage to Mary Jane.  I've been fairly underwhelmed with the stories that are printed thrice monthly. 

Amazing Spider-Man #641

Recently, I read the "One Moment in Time" storyline (Amazing Spider-Man #638-641) which reversed the memory-wipe from "Brand New Day."  Seriously, what's real and what isn't anymore then?  I'm so confused. 

At $3.99 each, Amazing Spider-Man issues are also higher priced than many other comics.  Three times a month.  That's $12 per month, which could possibly be some kid's monthly allowance.  This past week, both issue #641 AND #642 were released.  Why?  Scheduling/printing conflict, Marvel says.  Okay...but why not just push everything back then?   Since it's published practically every week, I hardly doubt someone's going to miss it if a week goes by without a new issue of Not-So-Amazing Spider-Man.  It's not like they have to wait another month; they'll just catch it the next week.  What kind of logic is that?  So, basically I spent $7 on crap this week.  (#642 was only priced at $2.99 and, by the artwork alone, it's really only worth 99 cents.  But I'll get to that in a moment (in time).)

From Amazing
Spider-Man #642

The worst thing about printing an ongoing weekly comic series?  The writing and art become very inconsistent issue to issue.  To catch up, it seems like Marvel is hiring any old artist off the street for one of their oldest and most popular titles, not giving Spidey the respect he deserves.  Cheap unknown writers, cheap unknown artists, figuring people will buy the title just based on the character Spider-Man alone.   Check out a panel of the latest issue (#642).  Is that Mary Jane and Peter Parker?  What's wrong with them?  Has Mary Jane contracted rickets and turned Asian?  Does Peter have cerebral palsy and Frankenstein bolt-head disease? 

From Amazing
Spider-Man #642

Trying to produce a comic that's published so often is really harming the image of Amazing Spider-Man.  A little depth, good storytelling, and great art go a lonnnnnnng way. 

Your Friendly Neighborhood Bi-Curious Spider-Man

I used to read the Amazing Spider-Man all the time throughout the 1980s. I followed him through the Secret Wars, the black suit, Todd McFarlane's art, etc. Spidey was my favorite Marvel comic, other than the Fantastic Four and Uncanny X-Men back then. In the past couple of years, I've started reading comics again (mostly DC characters), but picked up the recent "American Son" storyline in Amazing Spider-Man. I have to admit that it was pretty cool reading about the webslinger again, and I liked that his story wasn't crossing over into other comics that I'd have to pick up.

The humor was still there, and there have been some interesting turn of events: his nemesis J. Jonah Jameson is now the mayor, Peter is no longer (and apparently never was) married to Mary Jane, Aunt May is engaged to JJJ's father, Norman Osborn (aka Green Goblin) is in charge of the Avengers, and -- what's this? -- Peter Parker has the hots for his best friend, Harry Osborn? Yes, folks. There were some definite heavy homoerotic undertones throughout the story. The first one caught my eye, but I let it go, figuring it was a fluke. Then there was another...then another...and suddenly I was wondering if these were purposely placed.

Could it possibly be true? After almost 600 issues, could our Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man be gay and have a secret crush on his best friend Harry? I'd love to see Peter Parker, one of the most famous, well-known, and beloved comic book characters come out of the closet. How awesome would that be? Especially since he's no longer married to Mary Jane. Alas, this will probably never happen in my -- or any -- lifetime, but I just had to ponder the thought of it because I felt some definite "vibes" from Spidey toward Harry. Sadly, even if Spidey/Peter were to come out, it doesn't seem like Harry would return his affections. This could be an interesting storyline in itself, though, as Peter wrestles with the feeling of rejection and coming to terms with himself as he once did with the death of his Uncle Ben.

At any rate, I look forward to seeing what Marvel has cooked up for our Friendly Neighborhood Bi-Curious Spider-Man.