DC Takes a Crap on the Teen Titans

I know that I recently reviewed the downward spiral that is DC Comics' Teen Titans, but after reading the latest issue (Teen Titans #83), it bears repeating.  Why has DC decided to crap on the Teen Titans? 

When Geoff Johns revamped the Teen Titans and wrote for the first 40 or so issues, the Teen Titans were fantastic.  Again.  The writing harkened back to the days of Marv Wolfman writing the New Teen Titans back in the 80s.  Now, I'm not saying that Johns is the end-all and be-all of comic book writers.  He's great, but I think there are a lot of other talented writers out there as well. 

After Johns, Sean McKeever took over the Teen Titans and it was tolerable.  Not great, but tolerable.  It's like he was keeping them afloat until DC could find another suitable writer to be Johns' worthy successor.  Now DC has brought onboard Felicia D. Henderson who has absolutely no comic book or superhero writing experience.  Her background includes TV series like Fringe; Gossip Girl; Everybody Hates Chris; Soul Food; Sister, Sister; Family Matters; and Moesha.  The last time I checked, the Teen Titans wasn't a cheesy family sitcom.  Wait a minute...scratch that.

With Henderson, Teen Titans has gone from mediocre to bad.  I know the Teen Titans features teenage characters, but does the writing have to appear like it was written BY a teenager?  The storyline and dialogue are amateurish at best. 

Here are some examples from the latest issue, #83:

Blue Beetle: "Want to go get something to eat?"
Static: "Thanks, man.  But I'm spent. Think I'll raid the fridge and crash."
Blue Beetle: "Dakota was crazy, huh?"
Static: "Much and very."
Blue Beetle: "Everything okay, with the fam?"
Static: "Yeah.  You know. They miss me. I miss them."

Later...
Static: "Hey, I decided I wanna go out and get something to -- looks like you're taking off."
Blue Beetle: "Have to."
Static: "What's wrong?"
Blue Beetle: "Holocaust nearly killed us.  Something weird's going on with Miss Martian. We're going to have to go to another dimension to find Raven. Who knows what we'll face? Who knows if we'll get back? I need to see my mom."
Static: "I feel you."

Superboy: "She's acting all weird like she doesn't want me around.  And it's getting really old, really fast."
Impulse: "If you don't know what's going on, why don't you ask her?"
Superboy:  "Because if Cassie [Wonder Girl] doesn't wanna be with me she should just say so."

Wonder Girl: "Can we talk?"
Superboy: "Yeah.  Come on in.  So...what's up with you?"
Wonder Girl: "Nothing.  I mean, everything.  In case you haven't noticed, Raven's missing, and I'm the leader now, and it's a lot of pressure, and --"
Cut to: Superboy kissing Wonder Girl up against the wall.
Superboy: "That make it better?"
Wonder Girl: "No...make it harder."

Huh?

Superboy: "...anyway, we're kissing.  It's heated.  I'm thinking, we're fine!  But then Rochelle busts in."
Impulse:  "No way."
Superboy: "Oh yes."
Impulse: "Don't worry, dude. She's hot and she carries around her own rope.  You'll get together again."
In walks Wonder Girl: "Unfortunately, we're together right now."
Superboy: "Cassie!  Can you just tell me what's going on?"
Wonder Girl: "Are you serious?"
Superboy: "I know how it sounded but I was just getting advice."
Wonder Girl: "I'm the leader here. How's the team going to respect that with you sharing my business like that?"
Superboy: "I'm sorry."
Wonder Girl: "And that helps me how?"

Wonder Girl: "Lorena, have you ever been to that undersea area?"
Aquagirl: "No.  No one has.  Down that deep there are sea creatures unlike any other.  Some are really dangerous."
Bombshell: "She's asking if you can handle the pressure, water wimp."
Aquagirl: "You're two seconds from finding out how lucky you are to have an onsite operating room."
Wonder Girl: "Are you serious?  Get it together, you two."

Are YOU serious, DC?  Get it together. 

Why am I complaining so much?  Because I have an emotional investment in the Teen Titans that dates back to the 80s.  Because I hate to see them -- for lack of a better term -- crapped on.  And because DC is charging $3.99 a comic for a horribly written superhero team comic book that features equally horribly written back-up features.   I was relieved when the Ravager back-up tale (written by the aforementioned Sean McKeever) was ending and looking forward to the new Coven story featuring Black Alice.  After reading the first installment, I have to wonder:  Is Gail Simone the only writer that can pull off the under-used, weird, and dark Black Alice?

Sorry.  I just had to vent.  With so many quality DC comics out there, why do the Teen Titans have to suffer?

Teen Talk

In the 1980s, I was a HUGE New Teen Titans fan.  In fact, it was my picking up an early issue of New Teen Titans in a 7-11 convenience store that totally got me hooked on the gang, as well as on comics in general.  Marv Wolfman's writing/storylines drew me into the world of DC Comics' teenaged superheroes.  George Perez's drawings made me really appreciate comics as an art form.  When Terra was introduced in 1982 as the latest New Teen Titan, I was fascinated by this new character.  She was sweet, innocent, and served as a great potential girlfriend for the otherwise silly and awkward Changeling/Beast Boy.  By the time "The Judas Contract" storyline came around in 1984 and Terra was exposed as a traitor, I was shocked...but thrilled.  Not only was her betrayal startling, but it was also risque that a 15-year-old girl was in a romance with Slade Wilson (Deathstroke the Terminator), probably at least 25 years her senior! [Gasp!]  It was then that I realized that comic books were not just for kids...and I had to have more of this amazing world.  Every Friday, I would get my new batch of comics for the week and read them all over the weekend.  Weeks that included the latest issue of The New Teen Titans were my favorite.

In 2007, I won an auction on eBay featuring the first 30 or so issues of the latest Teen Titans series (which began in 2003).  Wow.  The characters and storylines hearkened back to the day of Marv Wolfman and George Perez' original "new" team.   "Who was this Geoff Johns guy?  He's a great writer for the Teen Titans," I thought.  "He really knows the characters well and gets into their personal lives."  I was also pleasantly surprised by the new Superboy and Wonder Girl.  They really complemented the team and weren't just teenage offshoots of their adult namesakes.  Plus, Geoff added cool nostalgic touches like bringing onboard Wendy and Marvin from the old TV Super Friends days.   

I caught myself up to the series' current issue and still craved more.  I went out and started purchasing other comic book series to see what had happened to my favorite characters over the years.  I also started buying more comic book series sets on eBay.  Once again, twenty-five years after the first time, the Teen Titans led me into the world of comic books.   

While I'm still reading and collecting comics again, I have to admit that, unfortunately, since Geoff Johns left The Teen Titans, no writer has been able to share or equal the love and attention to detail he showed the teens.  Sean McKeever focused so much on Ravager (Deathstroke's daughter) and some new supervillain group called the Terror Titans that I forgot which comic book I was reading.  Where were the Teen Titans?  Why weren't they in their own comic book anymore?  And why did this book become so Ravager-centric?  The team was whittled down to nothing (goodbye Robin, Superboy, Red Devil, and Miss Martian!).  When new team members were finally added, we got Kid Eternity, the new clutzy Blue Beetle, and Static?  Thanks, but no. 

I was excited to hear that a new writer would be taking over the scripting reins with Teen Titans #75.  Also, many characters were being brought back and/or added to the mix.  Someone must have been equally unenthusiastic with the downward spiral the Teen Titans had taken.  To add to the intrigue and my enthusiasm, the new writer was female.  Felicia D. Henderson, a TV series writer, was given The Teen Titans as her first comic book series assignment ever.  I was excited about the possibilities and what she might do with the female characters in the group:  Wonder Girl, the reinstated Miss Martian, new Aquagirl, and Bombshell.  Sadly, I've just read issue #81 and, seven issues later, my question is still unanswered.  Instead of giving us the female perspective or delving into interpersonal relationships, the book has become Static-centric (yes, we get that you really, really want people to like this former Milestone character) and features a Ravager story as the "second feature" in every issue (still written by Sean McKeever).  Yawn to both. 

Writers mustn't forget that these characters are, above all else, TEENAGERS.  They have different emotions, feelings, worries, and interpersonal relationships than the adult superheroes.  Most of all, they like to have fun.  Geoff Johns was very cognizant of these traits when he brought the characters (and the series) back to life in 2003.  I wish someone else would remember that before we're all having to say goodbye again to the Teen Titans.