Stop it, you're Culling me.

Teen Titans (volume 2364) Annual #1

I just read "The Culling" storyline that ran through the recent issues of Teen Titans, Superboy, and Legion Lost (although I didn't read the Legion Lost issues because I don't normally read that comic).  At one point, I had to flip back to the cover of the comic I was reading to check out the credits and make sure it wasn't Felicia Henderson writing Teen Titans again.  (We all know how that turned out the last time.)   It felt rudimentary and written by a beginner who didn't care a whit about character development.  It was like reading a script for a porn movie vs. reading the script for Schindler's List.  That's how awful the story and dialogue was.

The concept of "The Culling" itself might have been better if it wasn't already so prevalent in everyone's minds as a little story called The Hunger Games.  Worse, this story has already been done before in the last volume of Teen Titans, when it was called the Dark Side Club, pitting Titan against Titan in the ring for others' enjoyment.  Only this time, instead of getting the Terror Titans series out of the story, we get The Ravagers. Worst, the name "The Culling" itself only brings to mind Edward Cullen from the God-awful Twilight series.  They're trying to capitalize on the popularity of both Twilight and The Hunger Games in one fell swoop.  [Insert barf here.]

Superboy and Bunker

The best part of the story came after all was said and done and the team was bathing half-naked in some spa pools in a mystical dinosaur-laden land.  Here, we finally get some real character interaction that doesn't feel forced (or poorly written).  We also get a bit of comedy as we see Bunker calling out Superboy's hotness, something we don't get to see anymore now that he's no longer in a tight-fitting T-shirt and jeans.  

And speaking of costumes, where did the Teen Titans get theirs?  At the estate sale for the latest Tron movie?

Now on to The Ravagers, their name taken from the former Ravager herself, Rose Wilson, daughter of Deathstroke, leaving the new Rose Wilson in DC's New 52 without a codename.  She's just known as Rose Wilson.  Not Rose, but Rose Wilson.  This Rose Wilson still has both her eyes, though, having never lost one of them to her father's madness.  In fact, I don't think we even know if she's related to the new Deathstroke.  Who knows in the New 52?  And, seriously, at this point, who cares?  Please, please, please let this all just be happening on Earth-52 and eventually get back to Earth-1 where all of my favorite characters still reside pre-Flashpoint. 

Ravagers #1

In The Ravagers, the team consists of Caitlin Fairchild, Terra, Beast Boy, Thunder and Lightning, Rose Wilson, Warblade, and Ridge.  Fairchild has the ability to pump up her boobs.  Terra, Beast Boy, Thunder, and Lightning aren't the characters we know (and love!) from Teen Titans past.  Rose Wilson is...well, Rose Wilson.  Or some cheap white-haired knock-off of her.  Warblade is a character that might have (and did) come out of the 1990s when comic stories started to get as lame as the generic codenames that came along with them.  (See: any 1990s X-title.)  Ridge, a new character to DC Comics, seems to be the only decent character, and maybe that's because there is no former character or past history of his to fuck up. 

Young Justice #0

To summarize, Marv Wolfman and George Perez's New Teen Titans is what made me seriously start reading and collecting comics in 1981.  Geoff Johns' Teen Titans is what made me start reading comics again in 2007 after a 15-year absence.  Unfortunately, DC's New 52 version of Teen Titans might make me stop reading comics again all together.   Young Justice, the cartoon series and related comic from DC's kid-friendly all-ages line, does a better job of treating the legacy of Teen Titans (and its long-time readers) with respect. 

Bitter Teens

Teen Titans #4 (2011)

In the latest incarnation of Teen Titans #4, the team hasn't fully formed yet and everyone is still getting acquainted...violently.   Superboy and Wonder Girl (Yikes! Can I call her that without getting beat up?) do battle in Times Square on New Year's Eve 2011.  What a difference from the romance and losing their virginity to each other in the previous volume of Teen Titans.  At least this Superboy looks bigger and more toned than the scrawny one in the Superboy solo series.  

Meanwhile, new characters Bunker and Skitter quarrel, too, as do Kid Flash and Red Robin...over clothing.  Sigh...

Unfortunately, the dialogue is reminiscent of Felicia Henderson.  Is "Scott Lobdell" her pseudonym?  Or vice versa?  Both writers seem insistent on giving the teens lame dialogue (even for teenagers) and making them angry...all. the. time.

Old Solstice

And what's with Solstice now being puffs of black clouds with intermittent lightning flashes throughout?   It was so nice adding some diversity to the team last year, and now the beautiful Indian girl is just a puff of smoke?

New Solstice

As for the rest of the characters and storylines -- eh, who cares?  Bring back the old series, please.   

The New New Teen Titans

Teen Titans #100

As you can tell from my previous posting, I'm thrilled by the new direction and writing and art chores on the Teen Titans comic.  After the disaster that was Felicia Henderson, I have nothing but high praise for J.T. Krul and Nicola Scott, especially the introduction of their newest diverse member, Solstice.  

On June 1, DC Comics announced:  "DC Comics will be making history this September. We’ll be renumbering the entire DC Universe line of comic books with 52 first issues. We’re publishing innovative storylines featuring our most iconic characters helmed by some of the most creative minds within the industry."

My first thought was, Damn!  And the Teen Titans are so close to reaching their 100th issue!  Luckily, though, it looks like they still will.  The Teen Titans comic is shipping twice monthly this summer, so it will reach issue #100.  That looks to be like the last issue, though, as DC Comics' series will begin with #1 in September, thereby eliminating the long-running Batman, Superman, Action Comics, Detective Comics, and recently renumbered Wonder Woman comics as well.  So much for reaching issue #1000 for those series one day!

Teen Titans #1 (2011)

DC recently posted on their DCU Source blog some samplings of the future comics/series that will begin anew.   One of those was for the Teen Titans.  In the new series, "Tim Drake is forced to step out from behind his keyboard when an international organization seeks to capture or kill super-powered teenagers. As Red Robin, he must team up with the mysterious and belligerent powerhouse thief known as Wonder Girl and a hyperactive speedster calling himself Kid Flash."  And then there's the image of the new Teen Titans team and their new costumes.  I really like Red Robin's new costume; it's very "Black Condor."  It's also much more visually appealing than his current costume and really sets himself apart from any Batman, Robin, Nightwing, or Red Hood costumes, giving Red Robin his own identity.  The rest of the team's costumes, though, I can do without.  They look like a throwback to the early 1990s when storylines and character development were "out," and stylized art, accentuated body parts (hello, big female boobies and tiny, tiny waists), and hologram covers were "in."  Who's that crawling on the ground with their hair sticking straight up?   Legion from The New Mutants?  And is that a new Solstice or Terra in the background?  She looks awfully dirty, whoever she is.  I guess the color scheme for the new group is black, red, and gold?   

I'll definitely give the new series a try, since the Teen Titans are my favorite group of all time.  Sadly, though, just when the Teen Titans were getting back on track with Krul and Scott, in comes writing chores by Scott Lobdell with art by Brett Booth and Norm Rapmund.  I hope they do the Teen Titans proud, but I hope this isn't the rebirth of the quality-lacking 1990s that drove me away from comics oh-so-many years ago.

Tiny Titans...Awww, Yeah!

Confession:  I love Tiny Titans.  And I'm not talking about Mexican midget wrestling. 

Tiny Titans is a DC Comic featuring toddler versions of your favorite Teen Titans, mostly from the wildly popular and well-written 1980s New Teen Titans series.  Think Muppet Babies.  Or A Pup Named Scooby Doo.  Or even the Flintstone Kids.  The stories for Tiny Titans are set in a kid-friendly, elementary school environment.  They're simple, silly, cute, and usually contain some sort of moral from which kids can learn.  They're also fun for adults.  Although I have a hard time justifying the $2.99 price tag for a comic I can read in one-third the time of a regular comic, sometimes I just can't resist.  My justification is that this Titans book is better written (thanks to Art Balthazar and Franco Aureliani) than the current Teen Titans comic, written by the awful Felicia Henderson.

I just read the first issue of the three-issue mini-series Tiny Titans/Little Archie, featuring toddler versions of the Archie Comics characters paired up with the Tiny Titans.  Again, cute.  Robin's and Archie's clothes get mixed up at the drycleaners.  Archie's mom and Alfred, the butler, pick up the wrong clothing and bring it to the kids.  Since they both have an "r" on their shirt ("r" for Robin and "r" for Riverdale, Archie's hometown), the adults believe they have picked up the right clothing.  Archie freaks when he starts to put on the clothes and sees Robin's green underwear and booties.  The identity mix-up continues with their respective friends.  Fun and lighthearted.

Tiny Titans is a great way to introduce your youngest kids to the DC Comics characters.  The stories are wholesome, non-violent, and moral-teaching.  They're also great entertainment for adults.

DC Takes a Crap on the Teen Titans

I know that I recently reviewed the downward spiral that is DC Comics' Teen Titans, but after reading the latest issue (Teen Titans #83), it bears repeating.  Why has DC decided to crap on the Teen Titans? 

When Geoff Johns revamped the Teen Titans and wrote for the first 40 or so issues, the Teen Titans were fantastic.  Again.  The writing harkened back to the days of Marv Wolfman writing the New Teen Titans back in the 80s.  Now, I'm not saying that Johns is the end-all and be-all of comic book writers.  He's great, but I think there are a lot of other talented writers out there as well. 

After Johns, Sean McKeever took over the Teen Titans and it was tolerable.  Not great, but tolerable.  It's like he was keeping them afloat until DC could find another suitable writer to be Johns' worthy successor.  Now DC has brought onboard Felicia D. Henderson who has absolutely no comic book or superhero writing experience.  Her background includes TV series like Fringe; Gossip Girl; Everybody Hates Chris; Soul Food; Sister, Sister; Family Matters; and Moesha.  The last time I checked, the Teen Titans wasn't a cheesy family sitcom.  Wait a minute...scratch that.

With Henderson, Teen Titans has gone from mediocre to bad.  I know the Teen Titans features teenage characters, but does the writing have to appear like it was written BY a teenager?  The storyline and dialogue are amateurish at best. 

Here are some examples from the latest issue, #83:

Blue Beetle: "Want to go get something to eat?"
Static: "Thanks, man.  But I'm spent. Think I'll raid the fridge and crash."
Blue Beetle: "Dakota was crazy, huh?"
Static: "Much and very."
Blue Beetle: "Everything okay, with the fam?"
Static: "Yeah.  You know. They miss me. I miss them."

Later...
Static: "Hey, I decided I wanna go out and get something to -- looks like you're taking off."
Blue Beetle: "Have to."
Static: "What's wrong?"
Blue Beetle: "Holocaust nearly killed us.  Something weird's going on with Miss Martian. We're going to have to go to another dimension to find Raven. Who knows what we'll face? Who knows if we'll get back? I need to see my mom."
Static: "I feel you."

Superboy: "She's acting all weird like she doesn't want me around.  And it's getting really old, really fast."
Impulse: "If you don't know what's going on, why don't you ask her?"
Superboy:  "Because if Cassie [Wonder Girl] doesn't wanna be with me she should just say so."

Wonder Girl: "Can we talk?"
Superboy: "Yeah.  Come on in.  So...what's up with you?"
Wonder Girl: "Nothing.  I mean, everything.  In case you haven't noticed, Raven's missing, and I'm the leader now, and it's a lot of pressure, and --"
Cut to: Superboy kissing Wonder Girl up against the wall.
Superboy: "That make it better?"
Wonder Girl: "No...make it harder."

Huh?

Superboy: "...anyway, we're kissing.  It's heated.  I'm thinking, we're fine!  But then Rochelle busts in."
Impulse:  "No way."
Superboy: "Oh yes."
Impulse: "Don't worry, dude. She's hot and she carries around her own rope.  You'll get together again."
In walks Wonder Girl: "Unfortunately, we're together right now."
Superboy: "Cassie!  Can you just tell me what's going on?"
Wonder Girl: "Are you serious?"
Superboy: "I know how it sounded but I was just getting advice."
Wonder Girl: "I'm the leader here. How's the team going to respect that with you sharing my business like that?"
Superboy: "I'm sorry."
Wonder Girl: "And that helps me how?"

Wonder Girl: "Lorena, have you ever been to that undersea area?"
Aquagirl: "No.  No one has.  Down that deep there are sea creatures unlike any other.  Some are really dangerous."
Bombshell: "She's asking if you can handle the pressure, water wimp."
Aquagirl: "You're two seconds from finding out how lucky you are to have an onsite operating room."
Wonder Girl: "Are you serious?  Get it together, you two."

Are YOU serious, DC?  Get it together. 

Why am I complaining so much?  Because I have an emotional investment in the Teen Titans that dates back to the 80s.  Because I hate to see them -- for lack of a better term -- crapped on.  And because DC is charging $3.99 a comic for a horribly written superhero team comic book that features equally horribly written back-up features.   I was relieved when the Ravager back-up tale (written by the aforementioned Sean McKeever) was ending and looking forward to the new Coven story featuring Black Alice.  After reading the first installment, I have to wonder:  Is Gail Simone the only writer that can pull off the under-used, weird, and dark Black Alice?

Sorry.  I just had to vent.  With so many quality DC comics out there, why do the Teen Titans have to suffer?

Teen Talk

In the 1980s, I was a HUGE New Teen Titans fan.  In fact, it was my picking up an early issue of New Teen Titans in a 7-11 convenience store that totally got me hooked on the gang, as well as on comics in general.  Marv Wolfman's writing/storylines drew me into the world of DC Comics' teenaged superheroes.  George Perez's drawings made me really appreciate comics as an art form.  When Terra was introduced in 1982 as the latest New Teen Titan, I was fascinated by this new character.  She was sweet, innocent, and served as a great potential girlfriend for the otherwise silly and awkward Changeling/Beast Boy.  By the time "The Judas Contract" storyline came around in 1984 and Terra was exposed as a traitor, I was shocked...but thrilled.  Not only was her betrayal startling, but it was also risque that a 15-year-old girl was in a romance with Slade Wilson (Deathstroke the Terminator), probably at least 25 years her senior! [Gasp!]  It was then that I realized that comic books were not just for kids...and I had to have more of this amazing world.  Every Friday, I would get my new batch of comics for the week and read them all over the weekend.  Weeks that included the latest issue of The New Teen Titans were my favorite.

In 2007, I won an auction on eBay featuring the first 30 or so issues of the latest Teen Titans series (which began in 2003).  Wow.  The characters and storylines hearkened back to the day of Marv Wolfman and George Perez' original "new" team.   "Who was this Geoff Johns guy?  He's a great writer for the Teen Titans," I thought.  "He really knows the characters well and gets into their personal lives."  I was also pleasantly surprised by the new Superboy and Wonder Girl.  They really complemented the team and weren't just teenage offshoots of their adult namesakes.  Plus, Geoff added cool nostalgic touches like bringing onboard Wendy and Marvin from the old TV Super Friends days.   

I caught myself up to the series' current issue and still craved more.  I went out and started purchasing other comic book series to see what had happened to my favorite characters over the years.  I also started buying more comic book series sets on eBay.  Once again, twenty-five years after the first time, the Teen Titans led me into the world of comic books.   

While I'm still reading and collecting comics again, I have to admit that, unfortunately, since Geoff Johns left The Teen Titans, no writer has been able to share or equal the love and attention to detail he showed the teens.  Sean McKeever focused so much on Ravager (Deathstroke's daughter) and some new supervillain group called the Terror Titans that I forgot which comic book I was reading.  Where were the Teen Titans?  Why weren't they in their own comic book anymore?  And why did this book become so Ravager-centric?  The team was whittled down to nothing (goodbye Robin, Superboy, Red Devil, and Miss Martian!).  When new team members were finally added, we got Kid Eternity, the new clutzy Blue Beetle, and Static?  Thanks, but no. 

I was excited to hear that a new writer would be taking over the scripting reins with Teen Titans #75.  Also, many characters were being brought back and/or added to the mix.  Someone must have been equally unenthusiastic with the downward spiral the Teen Titans had taken.  To add to the intrigue and my enthusiasm, the new writer was female.  Felicia D. Henderson, a TV series writer, was given The Teen Titans as her first comic book series assignment ever.  I was excited about the possibilities and what she might do with the female characters in the group:  Wonder Girl, the reinstated Miss Martian, new Aquagirl, and Bombshell.  Sadly, I've just read issue #81 and, seven issues later, my question is still unanswered.  Instead of giving us the female perspective or delving into interpersonal relationships, the book has become Static-centric (yes, we get that you really, really want people to like this former Milestone character) and features a Ravager story as the "second feature" in every issue (still written by Sean McKeever).  Yawn to both. 

Writers mustn't forget that these characters are, above all else, TEENAGERS.  They have different emotions, feelings, worries, and interpersonal relationships than the adult superheroes.  Most of all, they like to have fun.  Geoff Johns was very cognizant of these traits when he brought the characters (and the series) back to life in 2003.  I wish someone else would remember that before we're all having to say goodbye again to the Teen Titans.