Up and Atom

X-Men: Battle of the Atom #1

I just finished reading all ten chapters of the X-Men crossover story "Battle of the Atom."  It was a nod to Chris Claremont and John Byrne's "Days of Future Past" storyline that ran in Uncanny X-Men #141 and #142 in 1981, just in time to give some more attention to the upcoming 2014 X-Men: Days of Future Past film.  There's a lot of time-traveling in "Battle of the Atom."  The original five teenage X-Men have already come from the past into present day (the concept for the All-New X-Men comic), and now the X-Men from the future travel back to present day in an effort to send them back to their original time period.  Got all that?  At one point, there are three different Icemen and three different Beasts.  What this has to do with atoms is anyone's guess.  But it's a pretty cool title (and logo) nonetheless.

Marvel did a good job of labeling each chapter in the story so readers wouldn't have to figure out what order to read the comics in.  The downside was that if you didn't currently read all of the X-titles, you were pretty much forced to buy all of them to fully understand what's going on.  There was little to no distinction with the characters from book to book.  For example, if you currently only read Wolverine and the X-Men, you didn't get a story featuring the title's regular characters.  You got the next chapter of the "Battle of the Atom" storyline, most likely featuring the original five teenage X-Men and/or their future counterparts.  Bookending the storyline was a two-issue X-Men: Battle of the Atom limited series.

X-Men #5

The most confusing aspect was figuring out which title you were reading at any given moment.  All of the X-titles use the same font for their logos, and they all had the same yellow border.  There was little to distinguish them from one another.  It was especially confusing when it came to the regular monthly simply titled X-Men comic vs. the limited series X-Men: Battle of the Atom comic.  (See images above and to the right.  One is the regular X-Men title and the other is the limited series, but they both have "X-Men" and "Battle of the Atom" on their covers.  Splitting up the words doesn't really make it less confusing.) 

Like most of Marvel's major "events" of late, nothing really dramatic or drastic occurs at the conclusion of "Battle of the Atom."  Some may disagree, but to me it's nothing when compared to crossover events like Marvel's Secret Wars in 1984 that gave us Spider-Man's new black costume or the She-Hulk replacing long-time Fantastic Four member The Thing while he stays on Battleworld in his own monthly series.  Or even when compared to House of M when the Scarlet Witch declared "No More Mutants."  And it's certainly nothing like DC's Crisis on Infinite Earths or Flashpoint that changed things "forever" in the DC Universe.  

Uncanny X-Men #139

Was it good, though?  Sure. It was actually much better than the X-Men crossover stories over the past several years (e.g., "Nation X," "Necrosha," "Second Coming," or "Age of X," just to name a few).   It would just be nice that when an X-Men or Avengers crossover arc is said and done, everyone goes back to ONE team/book.  Wolverine does not need to appear in every X-book.  Iron Man and Thor don't need to appear in every Avengers title. Mr. Fantastic shouldn't be both an Avenger and a member of the Fantastic Four.  There.  I said it.  I couldn't even tell you who's on what team because everyone just appears everywhere in the Marvel Universe.  I don't know when they even have time to poop.  It would make me more excited about purchasing a certain comic if I knew particular characters were going to appear in there every month.  For example, where can I read about Kitty Pryde?  Who knows?  Uncanny X-Men?  X-Men?  All-New X-Men?  Wolverine and the X-Men?  The answer would be:  YES. And NO. It just depends.  When we do see glimpses of her, is it anything like her character development in the 1980s in the ONE X-title of the day, Uncanny X-Men?  NO.  She's just another (intangible) warm body.  I really miss good storytelling and character development/interaction.   Some may think that Scott Summers and Jean Grey are the Ross and Rachel of the X-Men world.  To me, it will always be Kitty Pryde and Peter Rasputin.  He'll always be her lobster.  

Santa Claws

Let's face it:  Wolverine is everywhere.  Not only does he have two of his own solo comic book series (Wolverine and Savage Wolverine) but he's also a member of several X-teams and Avengers teams, plus appears in the other self-titled Wolverine and the X-Men (and these don't even include the alternate versions of him in the Ultimate Universe or Wolverine: MAX).  It's especially -- for lack of a better word -- interesting when the storylines don't even intersect.  He can be in outer space with the Avengers, fighting solo in Madripoor, taking on Sentinels with the X-Men in New York, or just sometimes...DEAD in hell.  ALL AT THE SAME TIME.  Now, one man cannot seriously be in all of these places at once.  So, naturally, I've come to the conclusion that, like Santa Claus, there must be several actors playing the Wolverine character (or, as I like to call him, Santa Claws) in order to make this a reality.  I'm waiting for the day when Marvel comes out with Wolverine, Inc. with all of the Wolverines from around the world and across the galaxy and puts them all in one double-sized, bi-monthly comic. 

I hate to sound like that grumpy old man in the corner that people talk about, but I remember when there was ONE Wolverine and he appeared in Uncanny X-Men.  Period.  And we liked it.  Then in 1982 he got his very own mini-series.  And we loved it.  Then he finally got his very own monthly series in 1988.  And there was a collective "Meh."  I read it for a few issues, got bored, and removed it from my pull list.  

In 2013, we now have his fourth solo self-titled series, so I decided to give him another try.  I enjoyed Paul Cornell's take on Lex Luthor in Action Comics, so I looked forward to what he was going to do scripting Wolverine.  After reading several issues of the new series, I've been less than impressed.  There's little characterization.  It's just Wolverine doing what he does best: fighting.  There's no emotion in the comics.  The storylines are otherworldly.  And there's no personal connection for the reader.  Maybe Cornell had a ghost writer for Lex Luthor?  Frankly, any generic writer who has no background in comic book characters could have written the first several issues of the latest incarnation of Wolverine.  And what's with all of the guest stars, from Nick Fury to S.H.I.E.L.D. to Black Panther to other X-Men?  If Marvel is worried that Wolverine can't carry his own series, then why give him a series?   I already see Wolverine interacting with several different characters in several different monthly comic books.  Shouldn't a solo title be focused on his experiences exclusive of others in the Marvel Universe, a la Hawkeye?

I haven't even picked up an issue of Savage Wolverine.  Why?  I'm already oversaturated with Wolverine in EVERY comic book and, to be honest, with that much exposure he just becomes boring.  Yes, I said it.  Wolverine now bores me.  How about getting back to basics with Wolverine?  Giving him stories that really bring out and develop his personality?  There's so much depth to him, but all anyone wants to use him for is being the angry guy and slicing up people and things.  He's Marvel's cash cow, so they figure that just by throwing him in every comic he'll generate increased revenue.  

Wolverine deserves better.  He deserves to be properly explored with excellent written stories, and he deserves to be illustrated with excellent artwork, neither of which he's gotten in a long, long time.  Most of all, he deserves to be given to readers in smaller, natural quality doses, not shoved down our throats like gallons of artificial High Fructose Corn Syrup. 

Judging Books by their Covers

I've been looking through my comics collection from when I was a kid and young adult.  Over about a 15-year span, I amassed a huge collection of comics and kept them neatly organized in boxes.  All of my weekly allowance went toward comics, not to mention my entire paycheck when I worked part-time at a comic book store for a year.  Plus there was Christmas and birthday money.  These sometimes went toward older comics at comic book conventions.  

There are literally 30 long comic boxes full of individually bagged comics from that period of my life.  That's thousands of comics!  I've been going through them so I can sell them on eBay, cataloging them and taking photographs of individual comics and/or sets of comics.  It's been quite a monumental task to say the least.  But that's actually been the easy part.  The most time-consuming part has been rating their condition, reviewing their value, writing eBay descriptions for each one, and coming up with a fair price. 

While I've been doing this, I've glanced at the photos I've taken, remembering the stand-out issues.  Their covers really meant something to me at the time, and they still hold a special place in my memories.  There are so many classic covers that remind me of a different time, and are so meaningful or works of art that they give me pause.  They may not be considered "classic" in the traditional sense, such as Fantastic Four #1 from 1961 or Crisis on Infinite Earths #7 from 1985, but to me they're classic because I had/have a special affinity for them.  

It made me realize that a lot of comic book covers today don't "grab" me.  There's nothing unique or special about most of them.  I couldn't tell you much about the contents under the cover, and I couldn't tell you, "Oh, that's issue #213."  Mainly because the cover doesn't tell me anything or strike an emotional cord with me, but also sometimes because DC and Marvel restart their comics every other year, never allowing them to even get into triple digits anymore.  (Wink wink, DC New 52 and Marvel NOW!)

Take for example these two Uncanny X-Men comics.  One is from 1980, the other from today (2013).  The one on the left tells me that Kitty Pryde joins the X-men -- yay!  It makes me want to read it right away.  The one on the right tells me...nothing.   It gives me a generic team action pose.  If I didn't already read the poorly illustrated comic on a monthly basis, what incentive would I have to pick up this comic if I saw it on a shelf next to other comics? 

As a side note, comparing these two issues: it irks me that Marvel is putting the comic titles and numbers at the bottom of their comics now (or is it NOW!)?.  Don't they realize how hard that makes it for comic book shops and customers to find comics on a shelf when the pertinent information is tucked behind other stacked comics?  Or for collectors when the comics are safely stored away in comic boxes?  You actually have to lift up the comics all the way to see what the titles and numbers are, instead of quickly glancing the shelves or flipping through a box.  It's really poor marketing, and for a company now owned by Disney who's known for their brand and retail marketing, it's pretty shameful. 

Much like the fashion industry magazines, DC Comics has taken over September as their month to do something spectacular.  It all started with the New 52 in September 2011, continued with Zero Month in September 2012, and just recently DC Comics took another stab at a Villains Month for September 2013.  The New 52 was a new concept, but Zero Month was a rehash of a comic marketing stunt that DC pulled in 1994 in conjunction with their Zero Hour crossover event.  Villains Month, too, is a rehash of a marketing stunt, but only dating back to 2009 when they did their (lame) Faces of Evil event.  When I first learned of the latest attempt at Villains Month, I thought, "Oy vey," and I'm not even Jewish.

Instead of visiting a local comic book store, I order my comics online now, about three months in advance.  They arrive once monthly in a well-packaged box, complete with bags and boards.  All that's left to do is read them...and I can manage that!  

In June 2013, I saw the DC Comics listing for September and thought, "Are you freakin' kidding me?"  Every issue was listed at $3.99.  What a joke!  I wasn't even aware of any special 3-D covers at the time.  Or maybe they never mentioned it either.  Or maybe I just thought it was another stupid stunt like hologram issues in the 1990s.  I remembered back to Faces of Evil in 2009 and thought (in the words of our former [cough!] inspirational [cough, cough!] leader), "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."  Although I didn't buy ALL of the issues, I did manage to purchase a great majority of them, increasing my monthly expenditure by 50%.  

Like a monthly menstrual cycle, my box of September comics arrived via UPS yesterday as scheduled.  In it were all of the DC Comics with lenticular 3-D covers.  (Did anyone even know what lenticular meant before these comics created such a buzz?  Chalk one up for DC for expanding America's vocabulary.)  

I usually file the comics away alphabetically in a box to read before moving them into their regular comic boxes.  (Hello, OCD!)  It took me much longer to do last night than usual because I was in awe at how beautiful the covers were.  They're all so colorful and so full of...life.  This was truly a great marketing stunt, and -- I hate to admit it -- worth the $3.99 each (these .gifs shown don't even do them justice).  I even felt disappointed that I didn't preorder ALL 3-D issues, and I don't even read on a regular basis such comics as Green Lantern, Flash, or Swamp Thing.  I just wanted to look at ALL of them.  This was the first time in a long time that a comic book cover truly caught my eye.  They may not go down in history as "classic" covers, but they're damn nice to look at.  Shame on DC for not printing enough so every fan who wanted one could get one, though.  

Now, I can't review them for their content yet, because I haven't read any of them yet (I'm afraid I'll destroy their beauty!).  For now, I'm judging these books by their covers. 

Uncanny X-Men Volume 3: Hope It Survives The Experience

Growing up, I built up my vocabulary of adjectives by reading comic books:  Amazing. Astonish. Impossible. Incredible. Invincible. Fantastic. Mighty. Savage. Sensational. Uncanny.  

The strangest one being, of course, uncanny.  Which, ironically, means strange.  Did that mean it was the opposite of canny?  And what did canny mean?  Apparently, it means clever or shrewd, so I'm not sure how something strange, eerie, or mysterious is the opposite of clever or shrewd. 

Anyway, remember when only one superhero team was uncanny?  And remember when there was only ONE X-Men comic?  It's hard to conceive of now.  Now, there are three uncanny teams: Avengers, X-Force, and X-Men.  It kind of lessens the uniqueness and impact of the word, the team, and the comic, doesn't it?

The original Uncanny X-Men series ran for an -- get ready for it -- astonishing 544 issues.  That's pretty long for a comic book series.  Of course, following DC's restart of all their long-running series (including Action Comics, Detective Comics, Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman), Marvel decided it was time to restart their long-running series as well.  Following the "schism" between Cyclops and Wolverine seemed like the perfect opportunity.   It also allowed for the entry of another X-Men comic (Wolverine and the X-Men).  And not only another X-Men comic, but an X-Men comic starring Wolverine.  (He's one busy fella!)

Sadly, volume two of The Uncanny X-Men only lasted for 20 issues.  Then along comes
Brian Michael Bendis and the Marvel NOW! initiative.  I'm sure the conversation went down something like this:

Marvel: "We'd like you to write the X-Men." 
Bendis: "Okay, but only if I can start with a #1 issue."
Marvel: "But we just restarted the Uncanny X-Men after 50 years."
Bendis: "I don't care.  Take it or leave it." 
Marvel: "Sigh... Okay.  Let's axe volume two and start all over again."
Bendis: "Deal." 

Now came volume three in 2013.  Hopefully this one will last significantly longer than volume two.  Unless, of course, Bendis leaves and Marvel wants another high-profile writer to take over who has high demands. 

The current Uncanny X-Men features Cyclops, Emma Frost, Magneto, Magik, and a bunch of new young "students."  Cyclops sports a new costume with a headpiece that really reinforces his codename's namesake (although his costume looks too similar to DC's new Superboy costume, which itself is too Tron-like for my taste).  Emma Frost sports a new, all-black costume, thus reinforcing the idea that she is no longer the Hellfire Club's White Queen (but how about a new codename?).  And I'm not sure what's up with Magneto's new look.  Wearing a white and black costume that resembles the Punisher's?  Bald?  I'm not loving Emma's or Magneto's new costumes.  

Now let's talk about artwork.  Chris Bachalo's art is a bit unflattering to the characters.  It's very rough-looking, and it certainly doesn't bring out Emma Frost's sexiness in the least.  And because nobody's costume is very distinguishable and the artwork is a bit sloppy, I sometimes can't tell if the woman in a panel is Emma, Magik, or one of the Stepford Cuckoos without some additional clues.  And don't even get me started on the new characters.  Who's who?  Who knows? They all look too similar.  Is that Rogue?  No, it's a new student who also has a white streak of hair.  Really?  The entire book is very dark, too.  There's no real color to it; just shades of black and gold, which makes it doubly difficult to decipher between characters.  Visually, the entire book just isn't very appealing to me.

I'm still reading the book, though, because Cyclops and Emma Frost are two of my favorite characters (even though they've gone through some pretty drastic changes over the years).  And Bendis does provide good dialogue between the characters, even though the characterization isn't optimal.  Are those the personalities we know?  Are these people always in costume and running around?  Do they ever do anything else? What about their private lives? 

A great, new recent addition to the comic is the underutilized Dazzler.  She's now an agent for S.H.I.E.L.D., but her costume is very new Fantastic Four and Magneto-esque.  Unfortunately, she, too, is pretty indistinguishable from the blond-haired Emma, Magik, and the Stepford Cuckoos.  In fact, when she first appeared, I didn't even know who she was until someone spoke her name.  Why not make characters more recognizable?   Isn't that the point of distinguishable costumes?  Readers should be able to instantly recognize their favorite heroes or villains, no matter which artist is drawing them.  She, too, doesn't seem to be very Dazzler-like in her characterization.  Does Bendis need some Cliff Notes on each of the team's members?

Let's hope that Marvel can one day bring its flagship X-Men title up to the level in which it was in the 1980s, quality-wise.  It has a lot to live up to.  Welcome to Uncanny X-Men, Volume 3, hope you survive the experience.

 

Cajun Turd

Ever since Gambit first appeared in the X-Men comics in 1990, I thought he was a pretty cool character, despite rarely being able to understand what he's saying because of his Cajun accent.  I loved the flirtation between he and Rogue, before she got into daddy figures (see: Magneto).  Plus, you've gotta admire a straight dude that can pull off purple (see also: Hawkeye).  But what's with the long overcoat?  Doesn't that get in the way of battle...or make the Louisiana Bayou heat even more unbearable?

Unfortunately, Marvel hasn't really done Gambit justice, evidenced by the numerous attempts at solo series for him.  The latest (2012) attempt isn't any better.  After reading the first seven issues, I'm all, "A sphincter says what?"  I couldn't even follow what was going on from issue to issue because I was so disinterested.  There was battle sequence after battle sequence with little to no character or story development.  Sure, we got to see some Gambit nips as his costume was destroyed, but that hardly makes up for the lack of decent storytelling.  Now he's supposed to be some sort of international James Bond?  I just don't get it.  And, frankly, I don't have to.  This is just another Gambit series headed for cancellation due to lameness.  Mon Dieu!

The Silly X-Men

I've been reading the new Wolverine and the X-Men comic that resulted from the team "Schism."  Now, it doesn't take a marketing genius to know that the split of the 500+ issue series Uncanny X-Men into two new series (a new Uncanny X-Men series and a Wolverine and the X-Men series) was just an excuse to increase sales because X-Men-related comics are the biggest sellers.  I guess DC was offering more Batman monthly titles and Marvel had to find a way to compete.  

Naturally, I'm one of the gullible souls who was reading only the original Uncanny X-Men (no X-Men Legacy, Astonishing X-Men, or even just X-Men) but now have been purchasing Uncanny X-Men and Wolverine and the X-Men at $3.99 each, so they got me for an extra $4 per month.  And lately, they've been releasing each comic twice monthly, so they're making an extra $12 from me every month. 

The extra money spent wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the awful product I'm getting in return.  I'm speaking specifically of Wolverine and the X-Men, which should really be retitled as The Silly X-Men.  Yes, Wolverine does appear in the comic (although seriously, what comic doesn't Wolverine currently appear in?).  However, it's primarily about a bunch of young silly mutants that I don't even know or care to know.  Quentin Quire?  Who the hell is he?  Isn't he the oversexed dude on Family Guy?  Oh, no, wait.  My bad.  He's a stupid punk-ass kid with pink hair, a la Perez Hilton.  Or, as I like to refer to him, the Danny Chase of the X-Men.  (See: When the New Teen Titans Went South.) 

I liked the concept of the "Schism" storyline wherein Cyclops would lead a team of X-Men off the coast of San Francisco on Utopia and Wolverine would start up a new school in Westchester, NY.  I also liked that Wolverine and the X-Men promised to feature Wolverine, Kitty Pryde, and the Beast teaching at the new Jean Grey School.  Sadly, we barely get glimpses of Kitty Pryde, Beast, or even Wolverine (!).  We mostly see these younger X-Men in training.  And they're not even the good Young X-Men.  Where are the characters from the Young X-Men short-lived series?  Dust?  Anole?  Graymalkin?  These characters had depth and personality.  The current motley crew consist of a bunch of whiny, annoying brats whose names I don't even know.

So, Marvel, I'm taking my $4 (or $8) and putting it toward the new Astonishing X-Men.  With Marjorie Liu scripting and Northstar making headlines, it's bound to be the better pick. 

Gillen Rocks the X-Men

Uncanny X-Men #535

I enjoyed Matt Fraction's run on the Uncanny X-Men, as he really brought some -- excuse the pun -- humanity to the X-Men.  However, I'm really enjoying Kieron Gillen's take on everybody's favorite mutant team even more.  He seems to really know the characters and their personalities and even manages to interject a lot of humor into the dialogue.  He's also not all about unnecessary fight scenes. 

Two of my favorite X-Men characters of all time are Colossus and Kitty Pryde (whatever her code name may be nowadays), so I'm glad to see them so prominently featured.  (He rocks those hoodie sweatshirts and cargo shorts!)  I love the dilemma the two of them are now facing.  After years and years of being apart due to their age difference (Kitty being a minor and all), they finally consummate their relationship (see Astonishing X-Men #14) and then Kitty is rendered into an all-the-time intangible state.  The only way she can touch or be touched is when she's wearing some special suit.  That, of course, makes it difficult to...you know..."consummate" again.  ;)  Brilliant!  The agony of not being together continues...

Seeing the wickedly hated Agent Brand in there, I thought, "Wow, she looks like Agent Diana Prince."  Then I realized...oh, it's Terry Dodson drawing (same artist who drew Wonder Woman when she was going through her Agent Diana Prince phase). 

I hope Gillen has a good, long run on UXM.  I'm looking forward to the interpersonal relationships between the characters finally being explored much more.  (And, yes, that goes double for Scott Summers and Emma Frost!)