Smegma Flight

As a kid/teen in the 1980s, I used to love to read Alpha Flight by John Byrne. Byrne had the most creative ideas and could take minor characters and turn them into the most interesting people with distinct personalities. He did so with the Uncanny X-Men, Fantastic Four, and then Alpha Flight. Guardian? Puck? Snowbird? Northstar? Aurora? Sasquatch? Marina? "Who are these characters?" you might have asked yourself back then. Suddenly, they're starring in their own comic book, though, and you oddly get to know (and love) each and every one of them. That's the work of a great writer.

What's the work of a bad writer? See the 2007 Alpha Flight revamp called Omega Flight. What I thought would be the bringing together of some great characters was basically the equivalent of Howard the Duck meets the Avengers. Captain America? Check. There's the copycat and pointless U.S. Agent. Spider-Man? Check. There's a Spider-Woman knock-off by the name of Arachne. Hulk? Check. There's Sasquatch...but not the one with any sort of personality that we once knew. Thor? Check. In the form of Beta Ray Bill, a bird-like version of the God of Thunder. Yes, I did say "bird-like." They're what would happen if Marvel lost the licensing rights to the Avengers and had to come up with "similar" characters. Did I mention Omega Flight isn't even frickin' Canadian anymore? Eh?

And what a pointless and dreadful storyline they have to go through after they band together. You almost feel sorry for these characters, but not enough to still want to see their demise (which, unfortunately, (SPOILER!) never occurs). Skip Smegma Flight and re-read Alpha Flight from the 1980s. Maybe someday Marvel will have the decency to treat Alpha Flight with some class again.