Infested.

Spider-Girl loses her short-lived solo series and Marvel throws her a bone by giving her a Spider Island-related three-issue mini-series.  Wow.  What a rotten send-off that was. 

I just read all three issues back-to-back and had to give myself spider bites just to stay awake.  Not only is New York City infested with spider-people, but now wasp-people are after the spider-people.  (Really?)  And they're called the Sisterhood of the Wasp.  (Do they also wear traveling pants?)  How about throwing in Spider-Girl partnering with the Kingpin to stop the flying insects?  Really?  Suh-weet. 

If you're at all interested in the Spider Island storyline (personally, I think the hype was better than the actual stories), be sure to pass on the snoozefest that is Spider Island Spider-Girl. 

The Dark Side of the Black Cat

Amazing Spider-Man #194: 
the Black Cat's first appearance (1979)

I've always felt that Spider-Man's Black Cat was a rip-off of Batman's Catwoman.  Arguably, Spider-Man and Batman are Marvel's and DC Comics' most popular superheroes, respectively, and sell the most comics for an individual character.  That's why there are nineteen Batman titles and The Amazing Spider-Man is published sixteen times per month.  I exaggerate, but you get my point.  Anywho, it only felt natural that Marvel give Spidey a flirtatious good girl/bad girl character, too.  Hence, the Black Cat.  While I didn't mind the Black Cat, I never thought of her as anything but a two-dimensional Catwoman clone.

I read the latest Black Cat mini-series and thought it was pretty crappy (see my review).  In doing a little background work for my review, that's when I discovered that Black Cat had another mini-series back in 2002/2005*, written by writer/director/actor Kevin Smith.  The official title of the six-issue limited series is Spider-Man/Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do, but it's primarily a story about Black Cat with Spider-Man's name thrown in there for sales purposes. 

*Apparently, Mr. Smith couldn't finish the story in 2002.  Issues 1-3 were published in 2002 and issues 4-6 were published in 2005.  Lame?  Yes.  Luckily, I didn't purchase the series in 2002 and then again in 2005 because I would have been totally lost.  I recently bought the COMPLETE set off eBay and got to read it in its entirety in one sitting. 

Despite Smith's apparent lack of dedication to the story, I was undoubtedly impressed by the final product's gritty and mature subject matter:  drugs, rape, and incest.  Both were treated very well and were vital to the overall story.  Smith balanced these heavy subjects by injecting humor, pop culture references, and flirtations between the Black Cat and the then-married Spider-Man.  

The series gave me a new appreciation for Felicia Hardy, the Black Cat.  Smith created a three-dimensional version of her, something I had never seen before.  He offered a lot of background to her life, showing us why she is who she is today.  The background stories were as interesting, moving, and sobering as the unfortunately canceled Emma Frost series. 

Reading "The Evil That Men Do" makes me want a monthly Black Cat series.  If only it was done right and she was treated as a three-dimensional character, and not like she appeared in the recent poorly written and poorly illustrated 2010 Black Cat limited series, or even the lame wannabe Sex and the City 2009 Marvel Divas limited series.   It also makes me think that now that Peter Parker is single again (thanks to the stupid time-altering Spider-Man "Brand New Day" and "One More Day" storylines), perhaps he and Felicia should explore a serious relationship together.

Spidey's Black Cat Brings Bad Luck

I just finished reading the Black Cat four-issue mini-series published by Marvel Comics. I wish I had read issue #1 before I bought the rest of the series.  I might have saved myself an additional $12.   

The Black Cat is Marvel Comics' answer to DC Comics' Catwoman.  Like Catwoman, the Black Cat is -- what else? -- a cat burglar, but she's not a villain.  She also flirts and has random sexual hook-ups with Spider-Man, much like Catwoman and Batman.  It's probably no surprise that they're similar since Spider-Man was probably conceived as Marvel's answer to DC's Batman.   Spidey and Batman are also -- arguably -- the two comic giants' individual heaviest hitters (and most profitable).

All that aside, the 2010 mini-series featuring a solo Black Cat follows her on a race to steal expensive artifacts in order to rescue her kidnapped mother from the Kravinoff family (i.e., Spider-Man's foe, Kraven).  Unfortunately, the story, characters, and art all lacked luster.  The supporting characters were interchangeable with no real personalities, so I often got confused as to who was who, and this was reading each issue back-to-back, not once a month.  Or maybe I just didn't care because the simple premise of the story was dragged out for four issues and none of the characters -- not even the Black Cat herself -- were well-written. 

The art was on par with current issues of The Amazing Spider-Man, which is to say that it wasn't good.  Gone are the days of Todd McFarlane and Erik Larsen when the web-slinger and his supporting ladies were beautifully drawn.  Welcome back, 1960s Spider-Man with jagged edges, disproportionate body parts, and no depth to appearances, background, or details.  

To add insult to injury, all four issues were priced at $3.99 each.  However, readers were given about 25 cents of quality.  Save your money and look for Catwoman stories instead.  Like Spider-Man, The Black Cat falls flat on her fur-lined ass. 

Amazing Spider-Man, Not-So-Amazing Price

So, as you may have heard, Marvel Comics decided to move Amazing Spider-Man's thrice monthly printing to a bi-monthly printing.  I'm assuming it was because of reader dissatisfaction with multiple writers and having to pay $2.99 and sometimes $3.99 three times a month for below average stories and art.  I know I've considered dropping it because it's too costly for too little in return.  So I was excited to learn that ASM was moving to a bi-monthly schedule.  Still not as great as once per month, but acceptable if the quality increases.  

I picked up Amazing Spider-Man #647 yesterday.  $4.99.  Yes, you heard me.  Four dollars and ninety-nine freakin' cents.  It's not a "special" issue or a landmark issue like #650 will be.  Now Marvel is going to try to recoup its thrice monthly sales by charging more for the two issues per month it publishes?  

How amazing is that?  NOT so amazing.  I'm outta here.

What's the opposite of Amazing?

Amazing Spider-Man #300
(Todd McFarlane art)

Amazing Spider-Man should change its title to Opposite-of-Amazing Spider-Man.  Why?  It's so...average.  I remember back in the 80s how cool (and monthly) ASM was.  It featured breakout artist Todd McFarlane, Peter Parker and his longtime crush Mary Jane married, and it introduced the black costume that would one day become Venom.  Cool stuff.
Lately, ASM has been mediocre.  I re-joined the series after the highly criticized "Brand New Day" storyline that apparently wiped everyone's memories of Spider-Man's secret identity and, with it, Peter Parker's marriage to Mary Jane.  I've been fairly underwhelmed with the stories that are printed thrice monthly. 

Amazing Spider-Man #641

Recently, I read the "One Moment in Time" storyline (Amazing Spider-Man #638-641) which reversed the memory-wipe from "Brand New Day."  Seriously, what's real and what isn't anymore then?  I'm so confused. 

At $3.99 each, Amazing Spider-Man issues are also higher priced than many other comics.  Three times a month.  That's $12 per month, which could possibly be some kid's monthly allowance.  This past week, both issue #641 AND #642 were released.  Why?  Scheduling/printing conflict, Marvel says.  Okay...but why not just push everything back then?   Since it's published practically every week, I hardly doubt someone's going to miss it if a week goes by without a new issue of Not-So-Amazing Spider-Man.  It's not like they have to wait another month; they'll just catch it the next week.  What kind of logic is that?  So, basically I spent $7 on crap this week.  (#642 was only priced at $2.99 and, by the artwork alone, it's really only worth 99 cents.  But I'll get to that in a moment (in time).)

From Amazing
Spider-Man #642

The worst thing about printing an ongoing weekly comic series?  The writing and art become very inconsistent issue to issue.  To catch up, it seems like Marvel is hiring any old artist off the street for one of their oldest and most popular titles, not giving Spidey the respect he deserves.  Cheap unknown writers, cheap unknown artists, figuring people will buy the title just based on the character Spider-Man alone.   Check out a panel of the latest issue (#642).  Is that Mary Jane and Peter Parker?  What's wrong with them?  Has Mary Jane contracted rickets and turned Asian?  Does Peter have cerebral palsy and Frankenstein bolt-head disease? 

From Amazing
Spider-Man #642

Trying to produce a comic that's published so often is really harming the image of Amazing Spider-Man.  A little depth, good storytelling, and great art go a lonnnnnnng way. 

Avengers Discombobulated

When I heard that the Avengers were going to have a fresh start with the Heroic Age after the dreaded Dark Reign cloud that hovered over the Marvel Universe, I was elated.  I have fond memories of the Avengers from the 80s and wanted to recapture that excitement.  I've picked up the first three issues of The Avengers, the first two issues of The New Avengers and the Avengers Academy, and the first issue of The Secret Avengers.  Color me unimpressed.  The only one that has interested me so far is the Avengers Academy.


The Avengers Academy takes a group of relatively unknown teenagers and allows them to interact, working out their personality differences, learning how to use their powers together, and coming to terms with why they were chosen for the group.  This is great storytelling.   

What isn't great storytelling?  Avengers, New Avengers, and Secret Avengers.  The stories have been pretty bland and generic and aren't a very good starting place for newcomers.  The characters aren't given enough time to interact before they're thrust into battle with some other worldly villain.  We never get to really know them and, frankly, at this point, I don't even want to.

My main pet peeve: why are Spider-Man and Wolverine on both the Avengers and the New Avengers teams?  Furthermore, they each have their own comic book series (Spider-Man's is published thrice monthly), and Wolverine is in the Uncanny X-Men, X-Force, Astonishing X-Men, and the new plain ol' X-Men comic. Talk about overkill.  I wish I had that much free time.  No wonder they created clones of Spider-Man.  Then there's the addition of the Thing who is and will always be a member of the Fantastic Four.  I think there are plenty other Avengers out there with good tales to tell that could use a wee bit o' screen time.

Unfortunately, Marvel missed the boat on this "revamp" of a classic series and team(s).   2010 isn't so much the "Year of the Heroic Age" or even the "Year of the Avengers."  It'll be remembered by me as the year I wasted $3.99 a comic on some crappy Avengers wannabe series.  

Check out: Avengers Academy: Permanent Record

Grim Hunt

It's been a challenge trying to keep up with the Amazing Spider-Man since his comic is published thrice monthly, but I just finished reading the four-part "Grim Hunt" storyline that ran in issues 634-637.  (Side note:  at this rate, ASM is going to bypass Superman's and Batman's monumental 700th issues which, to me, is kind of cheating.)

"Grim Hunt" featured the return of Kraven the Hunter (whom I didn't realize -- or remember -- was dead).  Thankfully, Marvel Comics published a free companion comic that came out for Free Comic Book Day that gave a detailed history of Kraven.  This proved immensely helpful before I read "Grim Hunt."  It gave me the background of his suicidal death, as well as insight into his family members, including his half-brother the Chameleon, the many women he's bedded, numerous kids, pets, etc. 

Over the past year or so, the Kravinoff family has been secretly running Spider-Man through a "gauntlet," bringing back his most dangerous villains in order to weaken our Friendly Neighborhood hero before they brought Kraven back to life.  The stories haven't had much depth to me, and that's probably because of how many times a month the series is published.  You can't have quality and consistency when you have to have a variety of writers and artists to keep up with the hectic publishing schedule.  They're not all going to write or draw the same.  In fact, some of the writing and art has been horrendous and jarring.  Still, I held on to the series. 

In the process of this "gauntlet," Marvel also updated all of the "old" villains, making them more dangerous than ever before.  For example, the Vulture is now somebody else who wears a red costume (instead of green) and has new deadly powers.  Oh, and he eats people.   The Sandman and Rhino storylines in "The Gauntlet" had the potential to be very good because of their emotional impact...but in the end, they both fell apart.  The only well-written story I read was kind of a "filler" issue featuring the vampire Morbius.  It was a self-contained single-issue story that was cleverly written. 

Anyway, back to "Grim Hunt."  The Kravinoff family is after the entire Spider family:  Spider-Man, Madame Web, Spider-Girl, Arache, Spider-Woman, Arana, Spider-Man clones, etc.  Basically, anyone with a spider emblem on their chest, a spider-theme to their name, or Peter Parker's DNA in their body.  It's all kind of silly, really.  Clones?  Seriously? 

The Kravinoff family resurrects Kraven from the dead by sacrificing Spider-Man over his grave.  (I won't spoil it for you.)   Fights ensue, unimportant people die, and Spider-Man saves the day.  (What?  You really thought he was dead?  His name is on the cover.  How could he be dead?  Again, I won't spoil it for you with the whos, hows, and whys.)  In the process, Spider-Man almost kills Sasha, the mother of Kraven's daughter, Ana, by doing something painful to her face, but I couldn't quite tell what.  I had to go back and re-read it several times because it was so out of character for Spidey.  He also tries to kill Kraven, also out of character. 

So, this is what "The Gauntlet" was all leading up to?  It was a pretty disappointing finale from a disappointing lead-in, although I did gain some respect for Kraven that I didn't have before, now that I know him a little better.  Gone are the days when Kraven wore his leopard pants, fur jacket, and ballet slippers.  Thankfully, now the only place that you'll find someone sporting that combination is at your local Walmart. 

Besides the "Grim Hunt" storyline, Marvel Comics justified jacking up the price of each issue to $3.99 by running a second storyline which featured an "untold" tale of Kraven and Kaine, the long-haired Jesus-looking Spider-Man clone.  It sort of ties into "Grim Hunt," but really it's just filler.  Even the artist couldn't even be bothered to do a great job.  He made Kraven look like Gru from the animated movie Despicable Me.

Lastly, there was a third storyline going on in the issues of ASM.  These were two-page "stories" written by Stan Lee that were a combination of the original 1960s Spider-Man stories...and Pinky and the Brain.  Yeah, you heard me. 

What do I think of Spider-Man?  Meh.  I wish Marvel Comics would get Spider-Man back on track with some good storylines, good writers, and good artists.  Not one, but two, Spider-Man clones?  Spider-Man loses a portion of his life, so he's single again and no longer married to Mary Jane?  Aunt May acting all rude and freaky with a storyline that's going nowhere?  Whatever happened to Spidey's heyday with the black costume saga and Todd McFarlane's art?  Can't somebody come up with something equally entertaining but not silly?  For $3.99 a pop three times a month, we readers deserve better.  And, frankly, so does Spider-Man.

Here Comes the "Reign" Again

Continuing with the "Dark Reign" storyline that Marvel Comics has basically spread throughout all of their series, I've picked up a few of the series that focus on the individuals within Norman Osborn's "Dark Avengers." You know the ones: they vaguely resemble and dress up like actual Marvel superheroes, so everyone thinks that they're the real deal, despite the obvious differences (like swearing, maiming, killing, destroying property) and the fact that the real superheroes are...actually still doing their thing. Anyway, once you suspend your disbelief at this ridiculous notion, there are some pretty decent stories going on...and some rather horrible ones.

The GOOD:
The Wolverine series has become a playground for "Dark Wolverine" instead of the normal, lovable (?), fuzzy, one-of-a-kind Wolverine. Dark Wolverine (blecch! I can't stand the "Dark" titles in every name and/or group) is actually Wolverine's son. Wolverine was apparently married long ago to a Japanese woman (but not the famous Mariko from his first limited series back in the 1980s) and had a child that he thought long since dead. Daken (Dark Wolverine) is all grown up now and sports a mohawk and tattoos underneath his mask and costume. He has similar mutant powers to Wolverine, plus a unique pheromone manipulation ability, which I find very intriguing. It's something unique that I haven't seen in comic books before. He is also struggling with his own identity, and between good and evil. Lastly, Daken seems pretty comfortable in his sexuality...whatever it may be. He made a couple of joking sexual innuendos to "Sinister Spider-Man" and The Thing to f**k with their heads, using his pheromone ability. For all of these reasons, he is a very interesting character and not just the child of a superhero with the same abilities. I hope Wolverine gets his own series back and Daken goes on to new adventures in his own series. I'd definitely invest my reading time in finding out more about him.

The BAD:
In the tradition of the new "Dark" Hawkeye limited series comes Sinister Spider-Man. Why "sinister" instead of "dark" like everyone else? Other than for alliteration purposes, who knows!? Anywho, this new Sinister Spider-Man posing as Spider-Man is actually...Venom. I know, I know. It's pretty hard to believe considering he's actually wearing the black and white Venom symbiote costume while posing as Spider-Man. It would be like me walking into work wearing a rubber Obama mask, toting myself as our President. Deceptive, right?

Apparently there have been some changes to Venom over the years. He's no longer Eddie Brock. He's now Mac Gargan, formerly the Scorpion. This in itself is kind of sad, because I always liked the idea of the Scorpion as a villain. Maybe another one is in the works. But I digress...

I read Sinister Spider-Man and all I can say is {YAWN}. It's a four-issue limited series by writer Brian Reed and artist Chris Bachalo. Reed says, "the whole Marvel Universe thinks Spider-Man is living in Avengers Tower, when it's really Mac Gargan, who has a long history as a sociopath." Venom...er, Sinister Spider-Man...er, "Spider-Man" is a womanizer, a killer, and an all-around a-hole. He's the male equivalent of a Black Widow spider. He bites the heads off the women he f**ks. And it's all on the news. So, you can see why people would naturally believe him to be the real Spider-Man. Especially with the real Spider-Man out there swinging around in his red and blue tights. After the first issue, I didn't want to read the rest (and had wished I hadn't already purchased them), but I did anyway. The story of Sinister Spider-Man felt rushed and randomly thrown together, unlike Dark Wolverine or Dark Reign: Hawkeye (previously reviewed), just to sell comics.

The UGLY:

The artwork on Sinister Spider-Man. With all the talented, unused artists out there looking for employment, why settle for mediocre?

Dork Reign

In case you're unaware, Marvel Comics has this ongoing theme/story running called "Dark Reign" throughout most of their comic books: Norman Osborn (formerly the Green Goblin) has a government job running the agency called H.A.M.M.E.R., which replaced S.H.I.E.L.D. As the director of this new "law-enforcing" agency, Osborn creates his own Avengers and X-Men team, made up of villains posing as superheroes. And nobody notices.

I know, I know. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking WTF? And you'd be right.

Maybe I'm not on the same trippy substance as the current Marvel writers and executives, but seriously...WTF? From the few different series and issues I've read or browsed, I just have to wonder how it is that not a single person has questioned that the "heroes" look a little different than their counterparts...and are killing people. Case in point: the new "Spider-Man" looks like Venom. And IS Venom. The new "Hawkeye" sticks a pen in the eye of a "fan" asking for his autograph. Norman Osborn is a hybrid of Iron Man and Captain America called Iron Patriot, but I guess people just see him as Iron Man or Captain America, depending on who they want to see? Kinda like one of those Magic Eye puzzles? But wait...doesn't everyone know that Norman Osborn is/was the Green Goblin? And everyone is...okay with all this? I feel like I'm in the middle of an I Love Lucy episode where Lucy is trying to deceive Ricky by wearing a fake mustache and...it works! He has no idea who she is!

Anyway, onto one single (but long) story of the thoroughly confusing (and dull) Dark Reign storyline: the Dark X-Men / Dark Avengers crossover "Utopia," which runs through a series of one-shots and the Dark Avengers and Uncanny X-Men series. I read most of the storyline, avoiding the Dark Avengers series since I don't currently collect or read them. However, after reading the first one-shot about "Utopia," I was regretting purchasing the rest, including Uncanny X-Men, which I regularly buy. Again...WTF? There was no coherent thought process throughout and I didn't care about anyone or anything I read. To top it off, the Dark Avengers/Uncanny X-Men: Utopia #1 one-shot was drawn by Marc Silvestri, an artist who became big in the 1990s when the women of the X-Men became a lot more bustier, a lot more Asian, and the stories took second (or third) place to all of this. Is it any wonder that's when I stopped reading comics after 15 years of nonstop dedication? Ugh.

I forced myself through all of the issues of "Utopia" I had purchased...and I still have no idea what happened. And, honestly, don't really care to know. All Marvel needs to know is that it's time to drop the lame Dark Reign storylines throughout its titles before it begins to lose readers. DC is currently doing a "MARVELous" job with their "Blackest Night" storyline. It's one of their best ever. Why is Marvel trying to compete with the poorly assembled Dark Reign? Forget Dark X-Men, Dark Avengers, Dark Wolverine, Dark This, Dark That. If I ever hear the word "dark" again, it'll be too soon. There's such a thing as overkill, Marvel.

Spidey Villains

As mentioned previously, I've been reading The Amazing Spider-Man again. I must say that I'm impressed at the updates to the Spidey Villains. First, I got a peek at the new (and much more deadly) Vulture. Now, with ASM #600, I got to see the "new" Doctor Octopus. Doc Ock has been hit one too many times in the noggin over the years, causing him brain trauma and a terminal condition (which echoes of Natasha Richardson). With nothing to lose, he strikes out at the city (and our webslinging hero) with a deadly force and little robot octo-creatures that remind me of some sci-fi (syfy?) movie I've seen. I'm looking forward to seeing what other villains are updated in the next 600 issues.

p.s. ASM #600 also had a couple of beautifully written backstories. One was Aunt May Parker sitting beside her deceased husband's grave, asking his permission to remarry. Another, and the most emotional, was the story of Uncle Ben learning to be a father to a teenage Peter. Kudos on both of these short stories!

Your Friendly Neighborhood Bi-Curious Spider-Man

I used to read the Amazing Spider-Man all the time throughout the 1980s. I followed him through the Secret Wars, the black suit, Todd McFarlane's art, etc. Spidey was my favorite Marvel comic, other than the Fantastic Four and Uncanny X-Men back then. In the past couple of years, I've started reading comics again (mostly DC characters), but picked up the recent "American Son" storyline in Amazing Spider-Man. I have to admit that it was pretty cool reading about the webslinger again, and I liked that his story wasn't crossing over into other comics that I'd have to pick up.

The humor was still there, and there have been some interesting turn of events: his nemesis J. Jonah Jameson is now the mayor, Peter is no longer (and apparently never was) married to Mary Jane, Aunt May is engaged to JJJ's father, Norman Osborn (aka Green Goblin) is in charge of the Avengers, and -- what's this? -- Peter Parker has the hots for his best friend, Harry Osborn? Yes, folks. There were some definite heavy homoerotic undertones throughout the story. The first one caught my eye, but I let it go, figuring it was a fluke. Then there was another...then another...and suddenly I was wondering if these were purposely placed.

Could it possibly be true? After almost 600 issues, could our Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man be gay and have a secret crush on his best friend Harry? I'd love to see Peter Parker, one of the most famous, well-known, and beloved comic book characters come out of the closet. How awesome would that be? Especially since he's no longer married to Mary Jane. Alas, this will probably never happen in my -- or any -- lifetime, but I just had to ponder the thought of it because I felt some definite "vibes" from Spidey toward Harry. Sadly, even if Spidey/Peter were to come out, it doesn't seem like Harry would return his affections. This could be an interesting storyline in itself, though, as Peter wrestles with the feeling of rejection and coming to terms with himself as he once did with the death of his Uncle Ben.

At any rate, I look forward to seeing what Marvel has cooked up for our Friendly Neighborhood Bi-Curious Spider-Man.